Life as an Idiot

2010-06-10T13:19:00.001-07:00

I am always irritable and pissy. Anyone will tell you that.

But nothing makes me more pissy than cramps.

Today I found out that the only thing that makes me more pissed off than menstrual cramps, is having no painkillers for my cramps.

I'm back at home in LA, and was very frustrated to find that, despite being in a house with a doctor, our house has no Tylenol, no Alieve, and absolutely no NSAIDs, but we do have 10 kinds of anti-histamines for allergies. We have montelukast too, did I mention that?

So I left my house, and drove into our local shopping district. There were no Longs nor Safeways there, so my best bet was the herbal remedies shop. My mistake.

"Do you have anything for pain?"

"You mean, natural medications for pain? Why yes we do. We have herbal and vitamin supplements proven to provide pain relief."

I left. "Ok, my dumb mistake. You go into an herbal store, you get herbs."

The next closest thing was Whole Foods. Now, I knew my chances of finding ibuprofen was slim, but it was my best bet.

"Can I help you find anything, ma'am?" The clerk asked, as I walked down rows and rows of rose-hip supplements, CoQ supplements, and bee pollen supplements.

"Yeah, do you have any pain relievers?"

"Well, we do have natural supplements for pain relief."

Oh god.

We walked down a completely separate row, and the clerk asked, "What kind of pain are you having? We have all kinds of vitamin supplements to help with pain."

And this is the reason why people with anger management problems and cramps should never speak their mind: "No, I will not tell you what kind of pain I'm having. Because I am bleeding dead endometrial lining from my vagina, and my uterus is contracting and releasing prostaglandins, because it is irritated. It is irritated of all these fucking vitamin supplements, all 1,305 types of them, but no one fucking carries a single $2 bottle of ibuprofen for my FUCKING CRAMPS. And no, I do not need a bottle of 'cure tinnitus', thank you" was what was on my mind.

"Muscle cramps," I demurred, "And thanks, I think I got it."

I left Whole Foods, and realized all of the sudden, my cramps were gone. Homeopathic medicine has cured my cramps with the sheer amount of rage that it conjures up in me.

I'm a believer.

-----

Next time, I'm just going to make that extra drive to Long's Drugs.

2009-09-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

A little old, but JK Rowling's Harvard Commencement Speech

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

2009-09-03T22:32:00.001-07:00

Every once in a while, I have to tell myself: "Don't ask whether you can or you can't; ask yourself if you want."

2009-06-21T21:34:00.000-07:00

In my ongoing quest to become a vaguely competent doctor, I decided that I really need some help with the ophthalmoscope. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it's a little handheld flashlight thing that doctors (and I) use to look at your eyes, and get so uncomfortably close to your face so that I can molest your face with my tongue. Just kidding. Awkwaard.

Anyways, who better to ask than my mom, the eye doctor? So, onwards to....

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY ADVENTURE!

“I need you to be the guinea pig.” Mom said to Dad, “I need to teach Jenny how to use the ophthalmoscope so she won't look stupid.”

“It's for my career.” I added helpfully.

My father reluctantly agreed, and so today, we went to my mom's clinic together. “This is my father's day present for Jenny,” He said, wearing the banana republic shirt I got for him, “I'm donating my body to science.”

It went along fine, with me being expectedly horrid, and with my mom getting annoyed by the minute.

As if it wasn't enough to have my mom giving me commands, halfway through, my father (not a doctor) decided that it was father's day, and on father's day, he gets to be a doctor too. “You're holding it wrong,” “You're pointing it at the wrong place,” and, my favorite, “I bet I can do this better than Jenny can. Maybe I should go to medical school.”

And,

Mom: Wow, I didn't expect you to be this bad at it.

Afterwards...

My dad, as a joke, put an eyepatch on to scare my brother. “Jenny was so bad that she poked my eye out and now I'm blind.”

Mom: “Your father made a noble sacrifice, because there is no way I'm letting Jenny touch any of my patients.”

Happy father's day, everyone!

Hajime no Ippo - New Challenger - Opening ( NEW ) HD

2009-06-09T17:33:00.001-07:00

I'm a total geek, so I like these things. New favorite theme song for a while:

2009-05-10T01:59:00.000-07:00

Thanks Dad. :) I know what I have to do now.

I'm pretty sure my dad and I are carbon copies sometimes.

Also...

"yeah, you know, we're friends. So lean on me and shit. You know?"

2009-05-09T12:14:00.001-07:00

Starting to get into X-men

Bummed X-men the animated series (the one from the 90s) off of Sam. And now I'm really really getting into it.

But the more I watch it, I'm like... if I were a mutant. I'd be a bad guy. That way I can be tormented and emo.

2009-04-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not gunna lie.... I'm pretty happy about my impulse buy:

It has a really sad gash on one of the legs though :(. I'm hoping I can get that replaced if I complain and bitch enough to the manufacturer.

I'm playing some really really easy songs on it, cause I haven't played in like... 9 years. Literally. I started when I was 6 (? maybe?), but quit when I was 15. Mrow. I didn't practice, cause I was caught up in the RAGING HORMONES OF YOUTH. Or, I was just lazy. Probably a little of both.

And now that I spent money buying this thing, I'll be forced to play it... at the very least out of guilt.

yay guilt.

2009-04-15T21:30:00.000-07:00

In the Mood for Love quote:

"In the old days, if someone had a secret they didn't want to share... you know what they did? They went up a mountain, found a tree, carved a hole in it, and whispered the secret into the hole. Then they covered it with mud. And leave the secret there forever."

2009-04-11T00:30:00.001-07:00

Before I fall asleep, emo movie marathon watch I have prepared for myself upon my return to SF. For those of you who don't know, I absolutely love movies about dysfunctional relationships... It's more relatable to me. Ha.

1. Annie Hall - my annual ritual and homage to relationships that don't work out.

2. Happy Together - not really

3. Chasing Amy - haven't seen it in years.

4. Brokeback - maybe? I liked the movie, but never was terribly into it.

Any recommendations?

2009-04-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading The Alchemist on the airplane back from NYC. Now if only I knew what my Personal Legend is.

The book is about following your dreams (or fulfilling your Personal Legend), but a significant portion of the book deals with all the failures and "no's" and fears that built up so much in our lives. Because of those fears, we stash away that dream to the corners of our minds until we don't even know what we dream about anymore.

Now enough about Paulo Coehlo, let's talk about me. Mememememe.

Hey, my blog, my fucking rules.

While I was in the Museum of Natural History, I saw a whole bunch of art students in the animal diorama section (that's what you call them right? Dioramas?). And each one of them was intently drawing a herd of elephants. All in black and white. And for reasons I couldn't really explain, I felt happy that these were people who were following their dreams. Now, I know that's based on a lot of assumptions, but I have to believe that there are people out there who are being true to themselves. Mostly because I don't know if I'm being true to myself.

Am I really following my dreams? For that matter, do I know what my dreams are? I'm terrified that becoming a doctor won't be everything that I had imagined it to be, and that every day will be the same as the day before, and that the magic that I felt when I first started medical school will fizz out. I'm afraid that being a doctor will become "just be a job" when I'm old, and I'm afraid that maybe one day when I'm older, I'll realize that this wasn't my dream and that my heart was always somewhere else, but I didn't know it.

Also, I was rereading Volume 4 of Flight, and reading Kazu Kibuishi's "The Window Maker", and I'm struck by this quote (said by Mr. Emery, the window maker): "A long time ago, I had a realization, that no matter where I am, I will always be the same person. Being a teacher or a doctor wouldn't change much. Only my title. That I would want to teach or heal -- I think that's what's important. And I can do both those things right here in this building. With the windows. So I've been here more than fifty years and I still have more to do before I'm done with the place." And I feel that maybe that's true too, that it doesn't matter what my job is, but rather who I am, and what I do.

Anyways, go read The Alchemist. And while you're at it, check out boltcity.com too and look at Kazu Kibuishi's work (and Copper, too. That's the comic that's on my door, for anyone's who's been to my apartment).

Not emo, just pensive.

2009-04-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

Why am I still 15 years old?

I gotta stop this stupid shit.

Time to take a good look in the mirror.

2009-03-08T10:22:00.001-07:00

I just spent 30 minutes reading RuPaul's auto-biography.

I better get back to work.

2008-09-10T10:56:00.001-07:00

Creepy Creepy

I didn't set my alarm this morning, because I didn't have class till 1. But, I woke up at 10 AM because an unknown number sent me a text message. And it said...

"goodmourning beautifl i love u."

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'm tempted to text back, "wrong number?"

2008-08-31T12:24:00.000-07:00

I miss undergrad.

2008-08-08T18:37:00.000-07:00

I don't usually talk politics on the blog, but, as most of you may have already guessed, I am vehemently against Proposition 8. Unfortunately, I am also not eloquent. This sums up my opinion pretty well:

LA Times' Endorsement No on Prop 8

2008-08-06T20:27:00.000-07:00

Meh, I feel like the first person voted off of a reality show.

2008-08-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

Bitch

Totally pulled a bitchy move, yesterday, at the bank.

Me: Can I have some quarters please?
Teller: Sorry, we don't have any quarters.
Me: *snaps* What do you mean you don't have quarters? Aren't we in a BANK?
Teller: Oh um, sorry ma'am. Let me go look more carefully.

Felt a little guilty, but I ended up getting $5 of quarters.

2008-07-21T22:51:00.001-07:00

Oh, and remember what I said about a chill summer? I lied.

2008-07-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

Oh man, so I went mcCrazy on Friday. I think it was a combination of over-working, dehydration, and hunger, so I went a little nuts and loopy. I apologize to anyone who was subjected to my craziness.

2008-07-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

Chill summer.

I gotta get my act together.

Babble babble babble. When will I start being actually serious about things?

2008-07-08T13:24:00.001-07:00

GAAAH Irrational fears!!!

2008-07-01T12:35:00.001-07:00

200th post!!! In Budapest!

I shall celebrate with some quotes from my mom:

"You know, a man from Hungary is very very famous. He invented the, I don't know how you say it, the Cubix Rube?"

And...

"You see those girls? Are those, what you call, the spicy girls?" (She wanted to say "hot girls")

Peace, ya'll.

2008-06-29T11:23:00.000-07:00

I am in Prague! My hotel is a few blocks away from a porn shop called "Erotic City." Tight.

Trip is great, loving it here. Though the declining value of the dollar hits hard in the ass, ouchies.

2008-06-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

I come back home and my dad's listening to Coldplay on his ITouch. What the fuck is going on?

---

In seriousness, family's doing well. Excited about vacay to Europe this Thursday.

2008-06-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

All this studying is putting a cramp in the bloggin. Also, I only had asparagus for dinner, and now I'm hungry again and my pee smells like ass.

2008-05-31T12:32:00.000-07:00

If I watch enough "In Treatment" episodes, I won't have to study the psychological disorders lectures.

2008-05-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

Slightly more interesting post

My dad's obsessed with American Idol. He's been watching for several seasons now and likes to give me weekly updates on his favorite idol contender. The most recent season, he's gotten completely infatuated with David Archuletta. He's burned all the guy's competition songs onto not one, but 3 CDs each for a different car's CD player in the household. A conversation this afternoon about American Idol (or any conversation with him, actually) went a little like this:

Dad: So I don't think David Cooke's really the good idol. Archuletta is just so much more talented, and I don't understand how Cooke won the idol, but Archuletta's getting the better record deal. I even joined the fan club. You know...

Mom: Oh for God's sake, SHUT UP!

Dad: *quiet for 1 second* Anyway, as I was saying, I joined the fan club, and we all call ourselves the ArchAngels, get it? Cause it's ARCHuletta? Get it?

Mom: This is reminiscent of the time where your brother didn't own an IPod and we were forced to listen to Ricky Martin's "Cup of Life" on repeat for hours and hours in the car.

2008-05-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

The great equalizer

I am of the belief that all Americans, no matter the color of their skin, become total and utter idiots when visiting another country in the company of other Americans. This is why I don't like being on guided tours.

---

Home has been nice. Went to JCrew (again), but this time my dad bought himself 200 dollars worth of new clothes because he "is having a midlife crisis, damn it. I get to do what I want." He even wants a convertible .

After watching Juno:
Mom: I can see why people think you're like Juno. You're both independent, talk back, and very very strange. I think Juno had Asperger's.

2008-05-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

Medical school means classy humor

Me: I hope I won't kill anyone.
Bei: Cause then you'll get sent to prison, and get fucked up the ass with a broomstick.
Me: ...that's vulgar.
Bei: That's PRISON, BITCH!

2008-05-20T22:59:00.000-07:00

Indigestion like a motherfucking bitch:

I had pizza without my lactaid, and now I'm in a fetal position with pain pain pain.

On a scale of 1-10, this is an 8.

I just popped 7 tums.

Argh.

UPDATE:

I listened to my stomach with a stethoscope, and it sounds like a someone drowning in river. Gurgle gurgle gurgle.

This sucks.

2008-05-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day

Me: Hi Mom!
Mom: Hey, how are you?
Me: Good, how was the dinner?

15 minutes of small talk later...

Me: Ok, bye mom!
Mom: Um... I just wanted to remind you...
Me: What?
Mom: Today's mother's day.
Me: *quiet* Oh. Um... sorry?
Mom: I guess I overestimated you.

CALL YOUR MOTHER!

*sending mom a belated Mother's day card*

2008-05-07T22:25:00.000-07:00

This is my Woman post:

Yaaaaay funding!

I have the worst cramps in the world right now... i'm sure you all just wanted to hear about that.

Haven't exercised in a while, but one caveat of having large breasts is that when you run, your boobs hurt.

2008-05-03T01:20:00.000-07:00

Mantras to follow:

"Touch lives, not children"

2008-04-29T22:50:00.000-07:00

Mrow Mrow Mrow.

I'm going to make my own pizza this week!
SOOOO excited.
It'll have sausage, bell peppers, and mushrooms.

.....................

Your cryptic emo thought of the day:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to us.

......................

Joyous of all joys:

That's it. I got Pokemon. I gotta catch 'em all. Or else there'll be hell to pay.

......................

The other day, I was wandering around Borders in the lost and sad anguished state after Joey moved out, when I realized that my zipper was down. I frantically meandered up and down the aisles to find a corner where I can zip, but everytime I got to an empty book rack, and I reach for my crotch, I'd find some elderly lady eye-ing me with judgmental.... eyes.

......................

Follow-up question to NOT ask at interviews:

"I wonder what babies taste like?" - a la Joey

2008-04-25T20:41:00.001-07:00

sick as a dog.

Had to get on the bus today to go downtown to sign a sublet thing since Joey is leaving us for greener pastures in LA. ( :( ) Normally getting on the bus is no problem, but I've been feeling dizzy and nauseous for the majority of the day. It's weird cause I felt fine before getting on the bus, and I haven't gotten ill on public trans since I moved up here. I was basically a miserable sick mess, so I ditched lab in the afternoon, as well as morning since that's when I had to go sign the thingie.

I'm not sure if it's allergies since it's spring, and that combined with the motion of the bus makes me sick, but it's been many many hours since I was last on a bus, and I still feel like I'm about to puke. Blah. Maybe I should get that drug for motion sickness.

Joey's leaving. I'm sad. Didn't hit me until today, I think. I expect next week to be hell.

2008-04-17T11:34:00.000-07:00

Damn, this can't go on any longer:

Operation Fat Chin Chen is now active.

No greasy foods.
No beef.
Exercise.
Go do a full check-up at student health.

When I came back home and couldn't fit into any of my old pants, I knew that something was up. Goddamn, man.

PS: Got the DS , though, so life is still tolerable.

AHHHH!

BTW, I realize that Walmart is a crime against humanity, but DAMN they have cheap stuff.

2008-04-06T20:57:00.001-07:00

I hope you take something away from this, I sure did.

After eating pho, I inevitably got some Sriracha on my hand. I reached up to rub my eyes...

and now I can only see out of my left eye.

2008-03-30T20:17:00.000-07:00

Debating between Nintendo DS and, well, not getting a DS.

I think I'll get it when Joey leaves (She got into her program, yay! She leaves in 2 weeks. Boo. ), but for some reason, I just don't think it'll be the same.

Been feeling a little more emo than usual lately - I feel like an irresponsible and unfocused slob. Bah.

Ken and I took this amazing picture while down at the Haight and Ashbury, and I feel compelled to share. (enlarge to see what I mean)

2008-03-16T00:45:00.000-07:00

Punishment for being lesbian

Too often, I would find myself gazing absently at the back of a deceptively attractive and vaguely butch female... only when she turns around do I realize that she is actually a man with too much facial hair and a ponytail.

2008-03-15T00:54:00.000-07:00

So what is this "job" that you speak of...

My brain might be a little bit fried - I've been, for all intents and purposes, studying since 1 PM and stopped at 11 PM. Sure there were little breaks for the peepee, a sandwich, and Starbucks, but the neuroses and nihilistic trauma remains in residual bits and pieces in my very essence. I'm now all amped up on espresso and sugar, and can't go to bed. And I feel like a crazy person.

WHERE MAH AVERAGE LOOKING ASIAN GIRLS AT?!

2008-03-02T11:02:00.001-08:00

Blogs that are funnier than I can ever even hope to come close to:

Ah, yes, medical school - 4 years documenting medical school in SoCal. This guy is fucking amazing.

Stuff white people like - title kind of explains it all

Will come up with more later.

2008-03-01T10:35:00.000-08:00

Since my life starting medical school, I've had a lot less to report on my blog. The reason is mostly because, awkward things still happen to me by the bucket-full, of course, but it all involves people I know, professors, classmates, patients, so it's not something I can really write about on my blog, though many events are even more humiliating and uncomfortable than they ever were in high school and college. After all, anything you put online becomes public knowledge.

So, I'll share some stories from high school instead.

In high school, as some of you may be well aware, I wore two things - well, make that three - mom jeans, Hawaiian shirts, or baggy wolf t-shirts. Yes. My entire Chadwick experience can be summed up in those three items of clothing: painful to look at, but yet you can't stop staring.

1. Remember when... I went up to every single person I saw, and asked them what a nougat was. And waved my half eaten Milky Way bar in their faces, "What I don't get is, what's a nougat? Why is it brown?" my mouth filled with chewed chocolate, saliva, and filth.

2. Running around campus screaming "Shit! Fuck! I hate everything! Fuck! Fuck!" Incidentally, that was also last week. And every week before and after that.

3. Squirting blue Gatorade out from my nose in front of one of my crushes in high school.

4. I dented 2 Lexus's (Lex-i? Lexi? Lexii?) in the period of 1 month. Tally that up to a grand total of 4,000 bucks.

Actually, I don't have any terribly humiliating experiences that I haven't blocked from my mind completely, so feel free to send me an email or a comment if you remember anything from either your high school experience... or mine.

But.

5. Yelling "Their faces were just in each other's pussies all night long!" in a public place was not the best decision I've ever made.

Eventually, somehow I made it to the runoff for class VP.

---

Oh another one - I rapped along to Eminem, actually thinking that I was cool. This wouldn't be any less embarrassing than any other prep school student's existence, except that I did this in Art History class my senior year.

I'll take my baggage of shame and move this way now.

2008-02-20T23:04:00.000-08:00

Putting the dog down Saturday, I think. Either that or next week.

ugh.

--

In other news, I'm remembering who I used to be. I used to be badass.

It's time to bring it.

2008-02-17T10:55:00.001-08:00

Joey's impression of me, being harsh and defensive.

Anyone: "Hey, Jenny, you look well rested. Did you get a good night's sleep?"
Me: "What? I work hard dammit, I don't have time for sleep. Are you calling me lazy? Fuck you. FUCK YOU! Fuck you, I work hard."

Ok maybe I overreact.

2008-02-16T03:45:00.001-08:00

I can hear my landlady snore.

That's kind of uncomfortable.

2008-02-10T18:42:00.001-08:00

More me - by Erica the BFF. :) These are panels stolen from her comic.
Go look at it, dammit. She's brilliant.

2008-02-10T11:43:00.001-08:00

Life-like portrait of me by Joey

If you can't read it, the words say

"Um, hey! Hi. So this is where we live. Yeah."

"...great."

2008-02-10T02:55:00.000-08:00

Top foods:

5. Deep dish pepperoni pizza from Zachary's
4. French Fries
3. Orange chicken
2. wienies wrapped in biscuit
1. HOT DOG WRAPPED IN A BACON, with mayo, ketchup and mustard, and sauteed onions, and and jalapeños in a slightly toasted bun wrapped in tin foil after consuming an inordinate amount of alcohol.

I can eat 50 million of those things. I'll just sit there and eat and eat and eat, and if anyone tries to even come near my hot dog, I will BITE them.

2008-01-02T09:37:00.000-08:00

Returning to SF today -

For 2K8, I give you some Mom quotes.

"You were so slow in elementary school that I was afraid that you had Down Syndrome."

"Just because a woman likes to be tough and independent and wear male clothing doesn't mean she's a... L."

I will miss home - sigh.

2007-12-14T09:15:00.000-08:00

I haven't had a scale while going to UCSF, mostly because I just forgot to bring my old scale from Berkeley. I figure it shouldn't make a big difference since I don't think my diet would change that much from college.

Recently, my pants have been feeling precariously tighter, and belts have started to become unnecessary. I huff and puff after running for a short while, and I figure, no problem, right? I'm just a little out of shape, maybe a little heavier.

So I come back home, and, with all my courage, got onto the scale.

I've gained 6 pounds. 6 pounds of Panda Express, pepperoni pizza, beers, and Beard Papa's cream puffs. 6 pounds of apple-shaped landscaping on my body.

When I told this to my mom, she said "Oh I wondered why you looked fatter."

yay.

on a separate note, she said "I hope no one thinks you have facial palsy."

I love my diva mother.

---

On a separate note, I'm actually looking forward to being antisocial over break, because I need to take advantage of my Netflix subscription since I haven't been using it while in school. And there's the Wii and the Zelda game that begs to be played until I bleed into my brain. Plus everyone's working or not back for a while anyways.

I have to go to my Dad's holiday work party and my mom's med school reunion some time over break. This will be a great people watching experience. That, and now there's a plethora of people whom I can judge.

2007-12-05T20:05:00.000-08:00

To eat today:

1. Large Pepperoni pizza
2. Salmon and rice
3. Watermelon juice cocktail
4. A Kit Kat bar

I don't know why I had such a junk food craving today. Maybe I'm pregnant.

And now I really want a hot dog wrapped in bacon.

2007-11-22T00:11:00.000-08:00

I've only been back for 2 hours, but I already have...

a Mom quote:

"That's a shame really... she worked so hard for her career, put so much of herself into it. And then she goes insane. She loses it, all for ... all for... a stinky stinky man." - talking about that astronaut who lost it back in spring.

2007-11-03T23:03:00.001-07:00

That was a catty-ass post. Forget it. Sorry for anyone who had to read that bull.

Things are going well, life is good. I'm very very fortunate.

2007-10-07T21:19:00.000-07:00

So I haven't had much time to write in here lately, mostly cause summer was pretty good but I didn't have much to report, and med school basically ate my life as soon I started.

Things are going well, I think I passed my last midterm. Sometimes I do feel a little bit off though, because the average age of med school students is 25, and I'm only 22. I feel that I don't really have as much maturity or life experience in comparison to everyone else, and a lot of the time I wonder if everyone else thinks I'm such a childish person. Anyhow, life is life, what can I do, right?

Sometimes I do kind of just want to run away though, and move to another country or another state or just some other place. I don't know what makes me feel this way. I just feel I don't fit in anywhere, and I'm not sure what going to another country would accomplish, but I think it would help me figure out my place in life. I feel I'm buckling down and basically have the rest of my life written out already, but I have no idea who I am or what kind of person I am. I find myself being slightly irritated just in general at almost everything, and a little distant from the rest of the world.

Blah, I guess I'm just living in my head, and I need to get out a little.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still having a good time with friends and things are going well with the family, but something feel missing. Anyway, first time I write in a while and it's a whiny emo post. Lo siento.

2007-07-31T16:23:00.000-07:00

I joined yoga as soon as I got back home.

I paid the fee and all that.

I came back home and did a google search just out of curiosity and it turns out it's a cult.

Oops?

Oh well, I paid for 10 sessions - it's not like it's bad yoga. I might as well use it up. It'll be fun being temporarily in a cult anyway - besides, they didn't seem to be too interested in me. I'm too much of a frosty bitch.

Oh and it's a bit of a ripoff - I think that part makes me more angry than the fact that it's a cult. Steal my conscience, sure, steal my money? You assholes.

2007-06-17T13:46:00.000-07:00

Going to hawaii for a week YAYERZ

---

I have mixed feelings about my new haircut. I've basically cleaved off half a foot of my hair, and now I look like a 50-something bitter suburban Asian matron with ungrateful American children.

2007-06-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

Not a Terribly interesting Nerd/Geekfest

Cooked
1. BBQ(esque) chicken.
2. Wine Chicken
3. Grilled Portobello mushrooms
4. Roasted Squash
5. Meat Loaf
6. Roast fish
7. Some Chinese Meat Sauce thing
8. Lemon Chicken
9. Roast Eggplant

Watched:
Anime - (ha yeah, nerd power) - Currently watching Hikaru No Go
Finished Ouran High School Host Club

TV - Watching Freaks and Geeks
Finished Season 2 of House

Movies - Knocked Up
Pirates 3
Hard Boiled
Latter Days

Things did:
Chores
Went to LA Pride
JOEY VISITED YAY
Spa party(ies)
General hanging out in places... being useless, etc.

Summer is for doing absolutely nothing, I love it.

2007-06-04T11:21:00.000-07:00

Adventure back home

Story from around a week ago:

Went jogging/running with Vicky after getting back into PV, around where the lighthouse is around here. Was pretty good, but I was pretty out of shape. And nearing the end of the run (or perhaps it was more like the middle, but regardless, it quickly became the end, because...), I noticed something sliding and slipping off of my neck.

It was my necklace, for those of you who probably know, I always wear a necklace with a jade piece on it. Not much of a jewelry person, but the jade piece is my 18th birthday present from my grandmother. Protects me from evil and such.

I pulled the chain from my neck and noticed that, oh shit, no jade piece was on it. One of the links had snapped and the jade piece had slipped out somewhere along the trail.

No, it couldn't have happened while I was sitting around, or at a coffee shop, it had to happen, while on a trail, and who the hell knows where it was?

So we retraced our path, back and forth, checking the sign posts, looking at the ground, and asking people. (There are some really nice elderly ladies walking around who wanted to help, but there was an awkward moment where these group of 3 women looked at us for 2 seconds and kept on walking).

Finally, we went to the whale watch center (yes we have a whale watching center), and nope, no luck there. But we did get suckered into a tour by a lady who was very very earnest about "the clever Indians" who used to live in our area before, well, you know. (was mildly offended, but that's just me)

Oh right, no necklace.

Walking kinda disgruntled out of the center, I noticed this slight chill against my sternum. A slight, dime-sized, jade-piece sized chill.

It was in my bra.

The entire time.

I lost a piece of jade in my boobs.

And I didn't realize for an hour.

I LOSE THINGS IN MY BOOBS.

DOES THAT BOTHER ANYONE?!??!!

2007-05-29T22:50:00.000-07:00

Life after college, week 1

Eh, it's going to be a pretty boring entry since it's just going to be a list of things I've been doing and want to do (once again, an over-ambitious list that will go undone). I kind of want to keep a log of what I do, since I cannot remember for the life of me what I did the senior summer of high school. I'm assuming nothing (which is always nice), which is why I don't remember it.

Before I left Berkeley, I did a photo montage with Joey and Mike, that was fun. It's entitled "bitches", and just a brief little thing on how it got started. A few weeks before school ended, me and joey sat on the bench by the Campanile and were just chatting. Joey, for some reason, started beatboxing, and I started rapping (well, poorly), "Bitches on a bench, bitches on a bench, yeaaah." And came up with the characters in "bitches." Also, I watched some episodes of Freaks and Geeks with Rey; I really like it!

Drove back down to Socal last Wednesday with Theresa, and that was rife with word games and delicious delicious fast food (ok, breakfast at Jack in the Box was gross, but that's my fault for getting the worst biscuits ever). Basically reminisced a lot. My car tires were a little flat so we stopped by inflate, where I fumbled with the machine and was mostly puzzled the entire time, but we got home alive, miraculously. (And no speeding trouble this time ;) )

Once I got back home, well let's see... things I've been up to

Cooking!!!!! My dad used to cook dinner for us, but lately I've taken over as the head chef in the house, hehe. So far my repertoire includes (ok they're all really easy to make, gimme a break):

1. Chinese meat sauce
2. Grilled asparagus
3. Roast asparagus
4. Baked Squash
5. Chinese Chicken soup
6. Pan-fried chicken cutlets (aunt's recipe)
7. Dumplings

Other things I wanna try:

1. More chicken dishes
2. Fish
3. Steak sandwich?
4. Mashed potatoes
5. French Fries
6. Egg-drop soup.

Okay, fine, they're easy dishes, but I'm workin' on it, k?

Been jogging again, it's really really nice. I should start lifting again soon. Blah, i wish I had a stricter regimen for exercise while in college - I've gotten way too sedentary. It's nice to work out. Plus I tire out too quickly, so need to build up that endurance for my hiking trip in August.

Asia: Excited.

Shopping - got new pants, lots of new sandals, new monitor cause my old one broke. Unfortunately, my list of necessities (ok fine, not necessarily necessities) increases as my weeks progress and now I need (aka want) more button down short sleeves, shorts, new cross trainers.
Been watching: House, some anime
Been reading: Joan Didion, Y the Last Man
Saw: New Pirates movie, WTF?

Cleaned out my room
Donated some books

Basically hung out with people back at home, though, to be honest, I haven't really been terribly aggressive about it - I kind of just wanted time to myself for a while. Think I'll be more social in a bit. Too bad half of my friends are gone starting this Monday/Tuesday, oy.

I want to:

Visit museums and touristy spots in SoCal
Visit Berkeley
Clean out my room
Learn more Chinese
Figure some things out.
Oh and, sell my books.

2007-05-22T00:57:00.000-07:00

I wrote an emo post earlier about graduating then deleted it from the public eye, but dammit, I'm going to write another one. (How original!)

I can't do this. I can't leave. It's 1 AM right now and I'm losing sleep over how much I'll miss this place. I haven't been this distraught over leaving somewhere since I moved from Taiwan to the US. I was playing frisbee earlier today, and walking around Telegraph, and eating, and helping a friend move out, and just generally being around campus on such a beautiful day and I realized: I can't leave. I love this place.

How did 4 years go by so quickly? I remember freshman year better than all the other years (arguably even this one). How did so many things happen, but it felt like no time has passed at all since I got here? And how did I change so much (maybe for the better... well, hopefully) but not even realize that I've changed until just today?

It was too short, but I know if I stay any longer I will go insane/also won't be happy.

My neighbors upstairs have been vacuuming, and apparently now they're drilling. That I will NOT miss. What douches.

I remember being not too terribly concerned when others older than me graduated, and I didn't get what the big deal was. It's a hard feeliing to explain - it's a reluctant kind of sadness, but also a sense that you know that this was something inevitable that was going to happen and that there's no use fighting it.

I guess I just don't want to stay in my empty room any longer. I just want to go home, and delude myself into thinking that I'll still be coming to Cal in the fall.

2007-05-10T21:50:00.001-07:00

Addendum:

Apparently he also gave us the adult channel. Comedic gold.

2007-05-10T18:56:00.000-07:00

I made friends with the cable guy

So my internet and cable has been broken, ironically around one week before I move out. My technician showed up today, and said that I should have enzymes in my body. "Enzymes are good for you," he said, "you know where I can get some enzymes in a bottle?" As far as I know, I don't think they sell enzymes in a pill, but I told him maybe he can eat vitamins instead. He seems upset that he can't eat vitamins, and I went back into my room.

Then he yells from the other room, "are you doing homework, or are you tired of me already?" So.... I went into the room where he was fixing the cable, and we chatted. He talked about his son, who might be going to juvenile hall, and how he tells his daughters to do their best. He says that nowadays Juvie (Juvey? Juvy?) costs money to the parents, and it might even work. "Back when I was in Juvie, my mom didn't have to pay nothing." And "Oh, and I might get fired from my job because I have to go pick up my son everytime he gets into trouble. I find out today." Who votes to charge parents to pay for juvenile hall? This is the exact thing that exacerbates problems among high crime communities. Making their lives harder to live, probably will just send more kids into poverty, and more kids into crime. People make these decisions, because they assume that their kids will never get into trouble, and for the post part, they're right, but this doesn't solve the problem. Anyway, I digress...

His girlfriend then called him, and he didn't want to pick up, "Girl only wants my money... You gotta work hard, y'know? You can't go blaming other things, blaming other people. I work hard, etc."

"Hey, I got to get going but thanks for listening. Good luck in school" I replied, "Hey no problem, I like listening to people and their stories."

"STORIES? OH I'VE GOT STORIES FOR YOU!"

Then he stayed another half hour to tell me about the existence of UFOs and the Loch Ness Monster. They were really interesting, actually, and he really knew how to tell stories.

As he left, "Hey Jenny, you all right." Nicest compliment ever.

Oh, and I think he gave us free HBO and Showtime, but I'd have to check my bill first >.<.

2007-05-03T08:55:00.000-07:00

I suck at Spanish

Yesterday, our Spanish teacher passed out a sheet of paper with everyone's name on it. On that day, we were doing advertisements/commercials in Spanish on our chosen product (Coke, McDonald's...) And some people have already filled out "orange juice", "Cheese", "Plates." So naturally, I wrote down "shampoo."

Later on in the middle of the class, my teacher came up to me and said "Jenny, this is a list for the picnic we're going to have on Friday. Um, I don't think we need shampoo, can you bring napkins instead?"

2007-05-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

My mother's day card says:

I actually remembered Mother's Day. This time. Don't get used to it.

Anyway, thank you for all that you have given me, including your genes. I hope you are having fun on your alumni website, and that your clinic will be very fortunate. I am so lucky to have a family like ours.

Jenny

Awkward? I think so. I think she'll like it.

2007-04-24T22:11:00.000-07:00

Knowing everything that I know now...

I would like to get into a time machine, and travel back to visit the confused freshman that was me all those years ago...

And I would punch the stupid bitch in the face.

2007-04-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

Obligatory awkward moment of the week story. I'm so generous I even bolded the awkward for you:

Earlier that week:
Prof: Ok, your paper is due tomorrow at 3. Don't do it the last minute! I'll have the dropbox outside by office - so just come on by. DON'T TURN IT IN THE LAST MINUTE! Your work quality really suffers.

Later that week, at around 2:50:
Me (about to drop paper in dropbox when OUT POPS THE PROF): AH! Um, hi!
Prof: Hi! What's your name?
Me: Oh, Jenny...
Prof: Hi Jenny, turning in your paper?
Me: Yeah... haha turning in some last minute work (Why did I say that?)
Prof:... okaaay...
Me: *nervous laugh*

*POIGNANT SILENCE*

Prof: Jenny right?
Me: Yeah.
Prof: Thanks Jenny.
Me: *shuffle shuffle shuffle away*

---

Ok, I should update here. Nothing really to say though....

In the past week, I've had fun ...
Watching more Firefly with the usual suspects
Playing Frisbee at night
Went clubbing then.... HAD THE MOST AMAZING HOT DOG EVER, RIGHT?!
Drinking at a bar (once again bringing our own food... First Gouda, then Soy chips, what next?)
Playing Cranium
Watching some House
Cafe-ing and borrowing comic books hehe
Visiting my old employer from summer
Cleaning my room, yes! Pictures forthcoming.

I kind of hope my friends don't get tired of me hanging out with them almost every day this week.

I did not have fun...
Writing a 3 page Spanish movie review while having a bad day
Writing an MCB paper
Studying for MCB
Writing in general
Self-diagnosing myself with the DSM-IV

Over Spring break...
I got a manicure and a facial
Caught up with my hs teacher
evaded work
Saw my aunt and uncle
Planned out Asia trip with Erica
Read a lot

I'm RIDICULOUSLY excited about going to Asia this summer - Japan China Taiwan WHUT?! Hopefully I'll even see Sun while in China!

I might be doing an UCSF backpacking trip! It's been a while, so maybe I should get back into practice. It's funny, I hated being active in high school and I still suck tremendously at running but I am 200000 times more active than I was back then.

I was talking about this with someone, and they said they don't like to visit HS because they hated who they were back then. I agree.

MIND DUMP AHEAD

I really want to do one of those "go off on your own and discover yourself" things. There's just a whole lot of things I want to figure out and fix about myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm more or less content with life, but some things just aren't quite right... and I've got to try to improve before I go into my high stress job, or even begin to think about helping others. I can be so much more than what I am now if it weren't for certain traits.

I WILL figure this out, gawdammit.
Sorry for being vague.

2007-03-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, so many of you probably already know www.pandora.com
but it is frickin' amazing - you type in a song or artist that you like, and it'll start a radio station to find other songs similar to it. It's awesome.

Ok, in other news, I'm home for spring break. Finally - I can recharge. I don't know why I'm so exhausted - I haven't been doing anything too stressful since I got into med school, but I guess I'm a bit glum about graduating. On the one hand, I don't really feel like hanging around as a student, but on the other hand, I also there's too many things left undone.

--

A couple of days ago while walking home from class, I saw a woman jogging with her dog. As her black dog came bounding up behind her, I saw that it was hopping a little bit. Then I saw that it was missing a hind leg, but it had no problem keeping up with its owner at all. In fact, it looked like it was rather satisfied with everything.

Literally one second later, I saw a man with only one arm riding a bicycle.

I don't know why, but that made my day. I think that was a nice thing to see.

--

Sometimes I wish I could just FIX myself.

2007-03-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

I'm an idiot day!

UGHHHHh

So I misread an essay question on my psych midterm and answered it COMPLETELY WRONG.

Whatever.

THEN to top it off, today, at a cafe:

me: I'll take the egg sandwich, please.
Cashier: Ok, what kind of bread.
me: No bread.
Cashier: ... .... you ordered a sandwich.
me: OH MY GOD! I'm sorry! WHEAT!

SIIIIIIGH Why am I such a space case?

2007-03-04T23:16:00.000-08:00

Best weekend ever:

1. Sitting around all afternoon bumming around with Joey and Mike
2. Beer at Loony's! Never been there before, actually, it's actually a really awesome place.
3. Men's Octet w/ Theresa and Grace. I really really liked the Octet's version of "I Will Follow You Into the Dark." it was so damned pretty. I'm sad that I'll be missing ICCA, though :(
4. Clubbing with Wayne and Rey. I had sooo much fun just dancing around. No prospects, of course. But around halfway in, we started smelling the most amazing grilled onion smell in the world. When we left, we saw that there was this shady van sitting outside the club with two guys making hot dogs with onions. It smelled so good but I didn't get any since it was from these guys with a sketchy van. Rey did though, and apparently it had bacon on it. BACON ON HOTDOGS. OH MY GOD. That is the most amazing thing i've ever heard. Instead, though, we ended up going to Jack in the Box (or was it carl's junior) and got a milkshake and bacon hamburgers. Then we drove up past Lawrence Labs and watched the city lights and ate our food and just chatted. It was great.
5. Jack! Cassie brought her dog, a chihuahua mix, and I got to play with him Saturday morning. I took like, a million pictures, because he was the most adorable thing in the world. He can jump three times his height. The only thing was that he freaked out when we took him to Strada and had to tie him outside. AHH WHAT A CUTE DOG
6. Rugby game - I wasn't too into it at first, I admit, because I didn't understand the rules and it was moving quite slowly. So I went home and took a short nap, then came back and watched a really really exciting match. It was really hardcore. It's like football but faster and less protection.
7. Then went up the campanile with Joey and Mike (i'm such a third wheel). I don't know, it was super pretty and I took a lot of pictures, and the last time I was up there was the beginning of sophomore year. It was also really sad, though, when I realized that I was graduating. I saw all the buildings and had a little memory (or a lot of memories) about almost all of them. The games, dorms, everything. Actually, I take it back, graduating is making me really sad. It's like it's my last shot at everything and after this it's all gone. I'll really miss this place. I have so many regrets about the place, but at the same time, I had so many awesome times. It all balances out, but sometimes I'm afraid I'll never have this type of happiness again. Anyway, enough of being a debbie downer, onto...
8. Frisbeeeee! I can't believe I didn't get exposed to frisbee until 2nd semester senior year. SO much fun. Played for hours and hours and I was getting better. I wanna get my own and play it all the time. Too bad it needs more than one person or else I'd just play all the time (by myself, I wonder how that'd even work).
9. Dinner with Cindy, yay! I felt bad that I wasn't able to stop a creepy homeless guy from groping at her food, though. That sucked.
10. Surprise bday party for my improv director! It was fun, and I was really excited to have done my first keg stand. It's like my college career is now complete.
11. Lots of rehearsal today - I'm feeling like I'm finally getting it. Too bad it's now and not like, 3 weeks ago that I got it. SIGH. Oh well, trying my best - I'm having lots of fun though.
12. Went wandering the campus with Rey after getting yogurt park tonight. We went up to La Loma and tried to get into the old dorm, but the door was locked and we couldn't get in. :( I guess we really just wanted to reminisce and remember our freshman year when we moved in. It went by so fast.... how did it all happen like that?

Super tired - I'm gunna sleep now.

I wish I were a freshman again so I would appreciate everything... and done things differently. I also wish that I wasn't chasing after girls so much (the urge pretty much stopped after my MCAT stress kicked in). I would've rather been single my entire career in college and had them as friends that I actually got to know and hang out with instead of just a bunch of pissed off and/or estranged ex's (or non-ex's, as the case may be ;) ).

2007-02-27T11:27:00.000-08:00

So.

When I get stressed out, sometimes, I unhinge my jaw. Not intentionally - it just unhinges. Then it hurts pretty bad - then I have trouble eating, because I can't really open my mouth too wide.

Yesh, i mean now.

Joey gave me her shirt - I really like it! Thanks!

In class right now, very boring. I really wish I just got a coffee and came in late instead. I've had to stifle a yawn every 5 minutes, and right now I'd really like to just curl up on the desk and fall asleep. I'm so over school.

--

Excited about Alvin Ailey on Wed.!

2007-02-23T10:35:00.000-08:00

Looking in the mirror this morning...

I realized that I'm fucked.

2007-02-21T10:15:00.000-08:00

I.

had.

The.

MOST.

TERRIFYING

NIGHTMARE IN THE WORLD.

The worst of it is that it was true at one point in my life.

----

Anyway, I'm just really stressed with school since I've been procrastinating like no other this year. It's very unlike me and kinda bizarre, actually. I finished a 6 page paper last night and am in the process of writing another 1 page paper (ok it's nothing), both due in, oh 40 minutes.

And I'm WRITING IN MY BLOG! WHICH ON ONE READS!

I truly truly truly am so lazy. It's so weird because back when I was stressed out about med school and needing to get good grades, I was so on top of my shit. I'd get everything done like at least 3 days ahead of time, and start studying for a midterm at LEAST a week in advance.

I have a midterm tomorrow that I haven't even started studying for.

Anyway, that's boring. Life's going well. I can't wait to graduate sometimes, but sometimes I really don't ever want to leave.

EDIT:

What a spazzy spaz spaz. Weirdo.

2007-02-16T09:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder if zits can boil over and explode with the unbridled fury of 1000 volcanoes.

2007-02-14T17:12:00.000-08:00

Adventuras en mi clase!!!

Translation:

Teacher: So what's everyone doing for valentine's day? I'm going to a red light party, can someone tell me what that is? Jenny?

Me: It's um... well, when the light is red, the car stops and umm...

Teacher: Very good, Jenny, but I meant a red light PARTY.

2007-02-12T22:39:00.000-08:00

New Format! How exciting.

I decided that I'll mostly post funny/embarrassing stories instead. They're more fun.

From my away message:

Me in spanish class today:

Background: We were supposed to unscramble sentences in spanish.
And I was first.

TranslatioN!
Prof: Jenny?
Me: Um, restaurant does reservation have to?
Prof: Um, unscramble it.
Me: (silence)
(silence)
(SILENCE)
Me: Lo siento.

2007-02-08T18:49:00.000-08:00

So.

2 things:

First, my GSI for MCB 165 is hiLARious. For some reason, not many people found her funny, so maybe it's just me.

"Okay, so there has to be another way to increase receptors on the synaptic surface right? Alternatives are good. Ok, well, i don't mean to give you guys relationship advice, but I just want to say, that if your partner gives you an ultimatum, NUH UH, that's BAD. Because that means they're not flexible, and they'll make your life totally miserable. So. Yeah, alternatives are good. Anyway..."

And:

"And here's a glial cell, so what is it doing here? Well, God has plans for everyone..."

And:

"Sometimes, when we pray, it feels good, like if you're christian, and you're praying... Not that there's anything wrong with praying. Praying is good. I'm a Christian myself."

---

Other than that, I had a totally bizarre dream.

I was in my spanish class, and everyone was speaking spanish. But I shall write this in English anyways. Our prof asked "So, if you can grow a field of ANYTHING, what would you grow?"

Guy 1 says "I would grow a field of money, so I would be rich."

Girl 1 says "I would grow a field of flowers, because flowers are pretty."

All this time, our prof seems unimpressed.

Then me: "I would grow a field of rice, to feed ALL the hungry children in the world."

Then my prof gave me a standing ovation and was like "See? See this person? This is the type of person we want in this world. The rest of you? WORTHLESS! Wow. Just wow."

Yeah........ WEIRD.

2007-02-06T22:54:00.000-08:00

EDIT: I cut out the emo. Pardon the mess.

let's see, I think I've been sleeping weird on my side so my left side is numb every morning I wake up. It kinda sucks.

I really really want to watch Fox and the Hound, but I don't think anyone actually wants to suffer through that with me.

I'm really excited about this semester, but I'm also sad that it's over. Life is good.

2007-01-31T10:09:00.001-08:00

I have a terrible and irrational fear that no one likes me. AHHHHH!

Insecuuuuure.

2007-01-27T09:23:00.000-08:00

Wooooooo

you know what's weird. I like these really horrible Gwen Stefani songs now.

Dance dance dance shame.

2007-01-22T23:57:00.000-08:00

Quick post before sleeping:
so happy. This is who I've always wanted to be. This is where i've always wanted to be. Everything is right. I'm glad. I've finally got to do all (ok, most) of what I've wanted out of college.

Let's end this semester good, people.

2007-01-13T21:09:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...

no posting in a while. I think this is the first time I didn't post for this long on this blog. Anyway, break's been really really good, hence the absence. I think I really needed the break from the topsy-turvy-ness that was my fall 2006 semester.

Anyway, I had a lot of downtime, and as I had promised myself, I played lots of FF XII and watched season 1 of HOUSE (though the last DVD broke. It made me so sad, so I have to see it when I get back to school).

Hung out with friends, visited Joey in San Diego and she visited me up in PV. Ummm went to Hollywood a few times, once for clubbing and once for touristy things. And then we went to a hat shop! My head's too big for hats.

Visited family, saw people and went and did things, etc etc.

I think the highlight of my vacation must be, and I admit this sounds a little "old woman", but is to hang out with my mom and dad. Getting coffee every morning with my dad was really relaxing and just nice to talk to him and realize that he's a real person. I know it sounds silly, but pretty often parents seem like, well, parents, and at least for me it was easy to forget that they have political and religious views and opinions, and of course, lives. It was a good way to get to know him, I feel. That part made me never want to leave home.

--

Back at school now. Iono, some of my classes are kind of disappointing, but at least they aren't all. My schedule works outkind of weird, and I'm feeling mixed about it. I have one class on Friday, but it's mandatory attendance etc etc, but ohhhhh 3 day weekend! SO TEMPTING to just drop it.

Mel came to visit for a few days, and that was nice. Having her meet my friends and I met her friends, etc etc. Went on a power SF trip - Pier 39, Ghiradelli Square, Chinatown, Metreon and whatnot.

On the first day of school, I told on of the flyering/tabling people that I can't join his club because I have rabies. That was oddly satisfying for some reason.

I'm keeping a busy semester this year - doing all the things I meant to do but didn't have the time to. I think it'll be good for me - I was pretty stressed out for basically... the entirety of 2006.

--

New Year's Resolutions:

1. Be less judgmental
2. More social
3. More assertive
4. relaaax
5. Run regularly instead of intermittently, and this goes for EVERYTHING I DO AHHHH
6. Be on the meat market again. Heh. :) Well, mostly kidding, it's my last semester so this type of thing doesn't really even matter anymore, personally.
7. Don't fail Spanish
8. Clean my room.
9. less self-conscious
10. Lose 5 pounds. Gain more muscle mass.
11. Read books and keep up with news
12. Not be a perfectionist though I think I fail that already by making 12 new year's resolutions that I probably won't keep.
13. Less emo. Which leads me to...

Ok we all get emo, we all get sad, depressed, whatever. I have a tendency to be pretty damn emo, but I feel weird (now... this didn't used to be the case) about posting that kind of crap on a blog. I mean, it's a public place, however journal-esque it is, and really, there's more (unbelievably) to me than that. So what I do is write it down somewhere and store it so NOBODY WILL EVER SEE IT except me, duh. And I read one today, and I actually couldn't keep on reading it. It made me really embarrassed. It's just funny how that works.

Still, it's nice to know where you've been, where you're going, and just think of all the events that make you who you are.

2006-12-25T23:46:00.000-08:00

Got my mom addicted to House. I'm very proud.

2006-12-21T02:35:00.000-08:00

I love being back, becaaaaause

Mom quotes:

"You should tell everyone that you have syphilis. OH how about AIDS?"

I don't even remember the context.

2006-12-20T20:38:00.000-08:00

So.

Got into one of my top top top choices today for med school.

SWEET.

And I found out that the class I thought I failed? I got an A. Also sweet.

My mom took a look at my eye and said that I have a cornea infection. Booooo.

Final Fantasy XII is fun and also eating up my life. Good.

Seeing friends this week. Also good.

overall?

I'm doing swell.

2006-12-17T02:17:00.000-08:00

SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE

Um, so this semester kicked my ass. Whatever.

I probably should've studied instead of playing Taboo for a few hours, but it was so addictive!

Anyhow, I'm looking forward to doing these things until my brain turns to mush when I get back home:

And:

Oh, and:
family and friends... I suppose :)

2006-12-04T11:40:00.000-08:00

You know, something I noticed about the locker that bothers me is naked people. I know it's totally normal, and it's not really a problem, but sometimes I'd just be walking to the bathroom and the scale minding my own business, then BAM! NAKED OLD LADY! Then it's totally awkward muffin.

2006-12-03T23:51:00.000-08:00

Yay fun pics

I've been alright. Last week was kind of lame because I was emo the whole time, but I cheered up near the end of the week.

Donated my car to charity, sigh.

I can't wait to graduate and have a fresh start again.

2006-12-03T23:36:00.000-08:00

Pictures! These are some Yale pics that I liked that I didn't post on facebook. Mostly because I forgot, but i'm also trying to wean myself off of that habit.

2006-11-25T19:03:00.001-08:00

Chin losing definition. Concerned.

2006-11-25T14:56:00.000-08:00

My aunt is crazy amazing - For Thanksgiving, she made:

1. Turkey, of course
2. Candied Yams
3. Buttermilk squash (what?) soup
4. Fancy Salad
5. Rosemary prime rib
6. A Chinese beef dish
7. Mashed potatoes
8. gravy to go along with it
9. Stuffing
10. Not one, but TWO kinds of stuffing.
11. String beans

My dad brought ham.

2006-11-22T16:02:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll.

Need to read list:

The Plague (currently reading)
Woman Warrior
Ulysses (probably NEVER will read)
And school books. Oh shit

So I walked into the guest room today (I no longer have my own room in our house... kind of sad), and I see, to my horror, some certificates for smart kids that I got like way back in middle school and high school, and then a giant picture of myself. All of this arranged with some tacky asymmetry next to some weird piece of modern art that I can't quite decipher.

Horrified, simply horrified.

--

It's interesting how friendships shift and change. The people I thought were gunna be BFFs (haha) don't always stay that way, and the people whom I thought would never stay in touch are in fact my closest confidants.

I guess i used to have a lot of issues with these things - must be from being the only child for a long time. But recently just going with the flow and not really having any expectations has been pretty nice.

I'm excited to go to med school and see what'll happen from there.

I wonder what specialty I'll pick, I wonder if I'll do research, I wonder if I'll help people (hopefully that's a yes), I wonder if it'll be fun going to school with a bunch of people as neurotic and socially incompetent as me. Most of all, I wonder what my financial aid package will look like :-P

I wonder if I'll fall in love.

HAHAHAHA Gotcha!

2006-11-20T21:19:00.000-08:00

Yale Trip

Was very very very fun.

I arrived late at Hartford, they made us sit on the runway for 30 minutes cause they had more planes than gates. Fools. Then I took a shuttle to Yale, and I met a fellow interviewee, so we chatted for a while. He was pretty cool.

Got to Yale, met up with Erica, checked into hotel, then had some Thai. Met up w/ David at Starbucks. Hmmmm it was raining and I kind of sucked and forgot to bring an umbrella, and Erica's noble umbrella died. My pant leg got REALLY wet and it was very upsetting.

Um, interview went well, I think. I hope. I really liked it - there were some tough/thoughtful questions, and I felt I did ok with them.

Tour was awesome. I really liked the school, so that was fun.

OK now's the fun stuff.

Erica and I wandered around New Haven trying to find me socks (laundry ate my socks, you know the story). And let me tell you, their campus is fricking BEAUTIFUL. I love the architecture, although Erica won't let up on letting me know that I didn't like Yale in hs. (I thought the architecture was creepy at the time. I think I was just trying to be anti-establishment. Or something).

Then DINNER w/ Shieh and Larsen at this pizza place. OH MY FUCKING GOD. Whoever came up with mashed potatoes and bacon pizza is a genius, please let me shake the guy's hand. It was SO good. That place had AMAZING pizza, and I got a beer called the "Toasted blonde." I don't know where they come up with these ridiculous beer names - it was light though. I'm not a big beer fan, but it goes well with pizza.

Met David's friends - they were really cool. It was then I found out that David has been referring to me as "Lesbian Jenny" for the longest time, and I was greeted as such. "So, you're lesbian Jenny." I guess it was slightly inappropriate that one of the first things we talked about was tagteaming david's mom. Well, you know, 99 apples and cranberry juice is the best thing ever.

then i got hungry and we went to this place and ate fries with the most amazing sauce. and then we hopped on over to an Asian snack place. And ate some more.

FAT FAT FAT

Of course, I am the queen of awkwardness, and while Erica was talking to her hip grad school friends, there was a lull in the conversation, and I said (to david): "I judge all my friends by their jawlines. I won't be friends with someone with bad jawlines. I can't stand it. You'll notice none of my friends have bad jawlines."

FOR THE RECORD - I really do value jawlines. That's why I was constantly whining about my chin, because I really really really like jawlines. Please do not let your chin fall into disrepair.

Then I totally crashed cause I was flying on 5 hours of sleep.

Saturday was pretty mellow.

I flew back at 5 AM in the morning, wtf. Got back to Cal at around 3 PM in the afternoon. And had dinner at around 7 PM at night.

Heh heh heh.

of course, I got sidetracked from my 6 page paper and went to smoke hookah for the first time. Let me tell ya, it's pretty awesome.

My paper is crap.

This is kind of a boring entry in retrospect, but i had fun, that's what matters.

2006-11-15T15:58:00.000-08:00

SECOND acceptance!!

Tiiiiiiight!

2006-11-14T18:25:00.001-08:00

I got accepted into my first med school today!

It's pretty good too :)

Happy!

2006-11-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

I missed the days when stress was considered if I'll do well on a test or an AP or the SATs, or if I'll get into a good college, or if the person I like knows that I like her.

Now I'm more worried about where I'm going to be for the rest of my life. I' more concerned about what kind of a person I've/will become, and my character. I'm worried about making enough money to support both me and my brother. I'm worried that med school will be 50,000 a year (including everything).

The good news is, though, everything else seem like small stuff in comparison. So it's not all bad.

2006-11-04T22:24:00.000-08:00

Addenum:

Erica also sent a small black book of cocktails, and a stress ball, how can I forget?

And alex thank you for paying for the circus! Daaaaanke

2006-11-04T16:59:00.000-08:00

Thank yous:

AJ for waiting like 3 hours with me when they found my car, towed it, get my paperwork taken care of. I was totally freaking out, but AJ is a master at crisis management, so thank you soo sooo soooooo much for taking ALL that time to deal with my car shit. Otherwise my car woulda been towed and it also woulda cost 75 bucks and storage fees EEEE.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

And Erica rocks because:

She sent me a ridiculously big care package (Care package, I guess?)

It has a book by Scott McCloud, Lychee jelly candy, dark chocolate M&M's, pecan cookies, a frog (huh?), a card that was written while on crack (my fave), five thousand wolf stickers, peanuts, "mints" and travel sized scrabble. You're ridiculously awesome, Larsen.

and a million other people that I'm sure I'm snubbing. Thanks for helping out in my time of suckage lame.

I guess my Dad most of all though. He drove/flew up about 3 or 4 times these past few weeks to check up on me. I'm such a prep school brat... I wish there was something I can do for my Dad....

WOOT

2006-11-04T15:29:00.000-08:00

They found my car!

2006-10-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

WTF

1. shit stolen from car
2. sprained ankle
3. car stolen
4. my eye's infected.

In other news, however, i'm wondering how long pizza can last in the fridge before it starts killing me and my roomie.