I can hear my landlady snore.

That's kind of uncomfortable.

More me - by Erica the BFF. :) These are panels stolen from her comic.
Go look at it, dammit. She's brilliant.

Life-like portrait of me by Joey

If you can't read it, the words say

"Um, hey! Hi. So this is where we live. Yeah."

"...great."

Top foods:

5. Deep dish pepperoni pizza from Zachary's
4. French Fries
3. Orange chicken
2. wienies wrapped in biscuit
1. HOT DOG WRAPPED IN A BACON, with mayo, ketchup and mustard, and sauteed onions, and and jalapeños in a slightly toasted bun wrapped in tin foil after consuming an inordinate amount of alcohol.

I can eat 50 million of those things. I'll just sit there and eat and eat and eat, and if anyone tries to even come near my hot dog, I will BITE them.

Returning to SF today -

For 2K8, I give you some Mom quotes.

"You were so slow in elementary school that I was afraid that you had Down Syndrome."

"Just because a woman likes to be tough and independent and wear male clothing doesn't mean she's a... L."

I will miss home - sigh.

I haven't had a scale while going to UCSF, mostly because I just forgot to bring my old scale from Berkeley. I figure it shouldn't make a big difference since I don't think my diet would change that much from college.

Recently, my pants have been feeling precariously tighter, and belts have started to become unnecessary. I huff and puff after running for a short while, and I figure, no problem, right? I'm just a little out of shape, maybe a little heavier.

So I come back home, and, with all my courage, got onto the scale.

I've gained 6 pounds. 6 pounds of Panda Express, pepperoni pizza, beers, and Beard Papa's cream puffs. 6 pounds of apple-shaped landscaping on my body.

When I told this to my mom, she said "Oh I wondered why you looked fatter."

yay.

on a separate note, she said "I hope no one thinks you have facial palsy."

I love my diva mother.

---

On a separate note, I'm actually looking forward to being antisocial over break, because I need to take advantage of my Netflix subscription since I haven't been using it while in school. And there's the Wii and the Zelda game that begs to be played until I bleed into my brain. Plus everyone's working or not back for a while anyways.

I have to go to my Dad's holiday work party and my mom's med school reunion some time over break. This will be a great people watching experience. That, and now there's a plethora of people whom I can judge.

To eat today:

1. Large Pepperoni pizza
2. Salmon and rice
3. Watermelon juice cocktail
4. A Kit Kat bar

I don't know why I had such a junk food craving today. Maybe I'm pregnant.

And now I really want a hot dog wrapped in bacon.

I've only been back for 2 hours, but I already have...

a Mom quote:

"That's a shame really... she worked so hard for her career, put so much of herself into it. And then she goes insane. She loses it, all for ... all for... a stinky stinky man." - talking about that astronaut who lost it back in spring.

That was a catty-ass post. Forget it. Sorry for anyone who had to read that bull.

Things are going well, life is good. I'm very very fortunate.

So I haven't had much time to write in here lately, mostly cause summer was pretty good but I didn't have much to report, and med school basically ate my life as soon I started.

Things are going well, I think I passed my last midterm. Sometimes I do feel a little bit off though, because the average age of med school students is 25, and I'm only 22. I feel that I don't really have as much maturity or life experience in comparison to everyone else, and a lot of the time I wonder if everyone else thinks I'm such a childish person. Anyhow, life is life, what can I do, right?

Sometimes I do kind of just want to run away though, and move to another country or another state or just some other place. I don't know what makes me feel this way. I just feel I don't fit in anywhere, and I'm not sure what going to another country would accomplish, but I think it would help me figure out my place in life. I feel I'm buckling down and basically have the rest of my life written out already, but I have no idea who I am or what kind of person I am. I find myself being slightly irritated just in general at almost everything, and a little distant from the rest of the world.

Blah, I guess I'm just living in my head, and I need to get out a little.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still having a good time with friends and things are going well with the family, but something feel missing. Anyway, first time I write in a while and it's a whiny emo post. Lo siento.

I joined yoga as soon as I got back home.

I paid the fee and all that.

I came back home and did a google search just out of curiosity and it turns out it's a cult.

Oops?

Oh well, I paid for 10 sessions - it's not like it's bad yoga. I might as well use it up. It'll be fun being temporarily in a cult anyway - besides, they didn't seem to be too interested in me. I'm too much of a frosty bitch.

Oh and it's a bit of a ripoff - I think that part makes me more angry than the fact that it's a cult. Steal my conscience, sure, steal my money? You assholes.

Going to hawaii for a week YAYERZ

---

I have mixed feelings about my new haircut. I've basically cleaved off half a foot of my hair, and now I look like a 50-something bitter suburban Asian matron with ungrateful American children.

Not a Terribly interesting Nerd/Geekfest

Cooked
1. BBQ(esque) chicken.
2. Wine Chicken
3. Grilled Portobello mushrooms
4. Roasted Squash
5. Meat Loaf
6. Roast fish
7. Some Chinese Meat Sauce thing
8. Lemon Chicken
9. Roast Eggplant

Watched:
Anime - (ha yeah, nerd power) - Currently watching Hikaru No Go
Finished Ouran High School Host Club

TV - Watching Freaks and Geeks
Finished Season 2 of House

Movies - Knocked Up
Pirates 3
Hard Boiled
Latter Days

Things did:
Chores
Went to LA Pride
JOEY VISITED YAY
Spa party(ies)
General hanging out in places... being useless, etc.



Summer is for doing absolutely nothing, I love it.

Adventure back home

Story from around a week ago:

Went jogging/running with Vicky after getting back into PV, around where the lighthouse is around here. Was pretty good, but I was pretty out of shape. And nearing the end of the run (or perhaps it was more like the middle, but regardless, it quickly became the end, because...), I noticed something sliding and slipping off of my neck.

It was my necklace, for those of you who probably know, I always wear a necklace with a jade piece on it. Not much of a jewelry person, but the jade piece is my 18th birthday present from my grandmother. Protects me from evil and such.

I pulled the chain from my neck and noticed that, oh shit, no jade piece was on it. One of the links had snapped and the jade piece had slipped out somewhere along the trail.

No, it couldn't have happened while I was sitting around, or at a coffee shop, it had to happen, while on a trail, and who the hell knows where it was?

So we retraced our path, back and forth, checking the sign posts, looking at the ground, and asking people. (There are some really nice elderly ladies walking around who wanted to help, but there was an awkward moment where these group of 3 women looked at us for 2 seconds and kept on walking).

Finally, we went to the whale watch center (yes we have a whale watching center), and nope, no luck there. But we did get suckered into a tour by a lady who was very very earnest about "the clever Indians" who used to live in our area before, well, you know. (was mildly offended, but that's just me)


Oh right, no necklace.

Walking kinda disgruntled out of the center, I noticed this slight chill against my sternum. A slight, dime-sized, jade-piece sized chill.

It was in my bra.

The entire time.

I lost a piece of jade in my boobs.

And I didn't realize for an hour.

I LOSE THINGS IN MY BOOBS.

DOES THAT BOTHER ANYONE?!??!!

Life after college, week 1

Eh, it's going to be a pretty boring entry since it's just going to be a list of things I've been doing and want to do (once again, an over-ambitious list that will go undone). I kind of want to keep a log of what I do, since I cannot remember for the life of me what I did the senior summer of high school. I'm assuming nothing (which is always nice), which is why I don't remember it.

Before I left Berkeley, I did a photo montage with Joey and Mike, that was fun. It's entitled "bitches", and just a brief little thing on how it got started. A few weeks before school ended, me and joey sat on the bench by the Campanile and were just chatting. Joey, for some reason, started beatboxing, and I started rapping (well, poorly), "Bitches on a bench, bitches on a bench, yeaaah." And came up with the characters in "bitches." Also, I watched some episodes of Freaks and Geeks with Rey; I really like it!

Drove back down to Socal last Wednesday with Theresa, and that was rife with word games and delicious delicious fast food (ok, breakfast at Jack in the Box was gross, but that's my fault for getting the worst biscuits ever). Basically reminisced a lot. My car tires were a little flat so we stopped by inflate, where I fumbled with the machine and was mostly puzzled the entire time, but we got home alive, miraculously. (And no speeding trouble this time ;) )

Once I got back home, well let's see... things I've been up to

Cooking!!!!! My dad used to cook dinner for us, but lately I've taken over as the head chef in the house, hehe. So far my repertoire includes (ok they're all really easy to make, gimme a break):

1. Chinese meat sauce
2. Grilled asparagus
3. Roast asparagus
4. Baked Squash
5. Chinese Chicken soup
6. Pan-fried chicken cutlets (aunt's recipe)
7. Dumplings

Other things I wanna try:

1. More chicken dishes
2. Fish
3. Steak sandwich?
4. Mashed potatoes
5. French Fries
6. Egg-drop soup.

Okay, fine, they're easy dishes, but I'm workin' on it, k?

Been jogging again, it's really really nice. I should start lifting again soon. Blah, i wish I had a stricter regimen for exercise while in college - I've gotten way too sedentary. It's nice to work out. Plus I tire out too quickly, so need to build up that endurance for my hiking trip in August.

Asia: Excited.

Shopping - got new pants, lots of new sandals, new monitor cause my old one broke. Unfortunately, my list of necessities (ok fine, not necessarily necessities) increases as my weeks progress and now I need (aka want) more button down short sleeves, shorts, new cross trainers.
Been watching: House, some anime
Been reading: Joan Didion, Y the Last Man
Saw: New Pirates movie, WTF?

Cleaned out my room
Donated some books

Basically hung out with people back at home, though, to be honest, I haven't really been terribly aggressive about it - I kind of just wanted time to myself for a while. Think I'll be more social in a bit. Too bad half of my friends are gone starting this Monday/Tuesday, oy.

I want to:

Visit museums and touristy spots in SoCal
Visit Berkeley
Clean out my room
Learn more Chinese
Figure some things out.
Oh and, sell my books.

I wrote an emo post earlier about graduating then deleted it from the public eye, but dammit, I'm going to write another one. (How original!)

I can't do this. I can't leave. It's 1 AM right now and I'm losing sleep over how much I'll miss this place. I haven't been this distraught over leaving somewhere since I moved from Taiwan to the US. I was playing frisbee earlier today, and walking around Telegraph, and eating, and helping a friend move out, and just generally being around campus on such a beautiful day and I realized: I can't leave. I love this place.

How did 4 years go by so quickly? I remember freshman year better than all the other years (arguably even this one). How did so many things happen, but it felt like no time has passed at all since I got here? And how did I change so much (maybe for the better... well, hopefully) but not even realize that I've changed until just today?

It was too short, but I know if I stay any longer I will go insane/also won't be happy.

My neighbors upstairs have been vacuuming, and apparently now they're drilling. That I will NOT miss. What douches.


I remember being not too terribly concerned when others older than me graduated, and I didn't get what the big deal was. It's a hard feeliing to explain - it's a reluctant kind of sadness, but also a sense that you know that this was something inevitable that was going to happen and that there's no use fighting it.

I guess I just don't want to stay in my empty room any longer. I just want to go home, and delude myself into thinking that I'll still be coming to Cal in the fall.

Addendum:

Apparently he also gave us the adult channel. Comedic gold.

I made friends with the cable guy

So my internet and cable has been broken, ironically around one week before I move out. My technician showed up today, and said that I should have enzymes in my body. "Enzymes are good for you," he said, "you know where I can get some enzymes in a bottle?" As far as I know, I don't think they sell enzymes in a pill, but I told him maybe he can eat vitamins instead. He seems upset that he can't eat vitamins, and I went back into my room.

Then he yells from the other room, "are you doing homework, or are you tired of me already?" So.... I went into the room where he was fixing the cable, and we chatted. He talked about his son, who might be going to juvenile hall, and how he tells his daughters to do their best. He says that nowadays Juvie (Juvey? Juvy?) costs money to the parents, and it might even work. "Back when I was in Juvie, my mom didn't have to pay nothing." And "Oh, and I might get fired from my job because I have to go pick up my son everytime he gets into trouble. I find out today." Who votes to charge parents to pay for juvenile hall? This is the exact thing that exacerbates problems among high crime communities. Making their lives harder to live, probably will just send more kids into poverty, and more kids into crime. People make these decisions, because they assume that their kids will never get into trouble, and for the post part, they're right, but this doesn't solve the problem. Anyway, I digress...


His girlfriend then called him, and he didn't want to pick up, "Girl only wants my money... You gotta work hard, y'know? You can't go blaming other things, blaming other people. I work hard, etc."

"Hey, I got to get going but thanks for listening. Good luck in school" I replied, "Hey no problem, I like listening to people and their stories."

"STORIES? OH I'VE GOT STORIES FOR YOU!"

Then he stayed another half hour to tell me about the existence of UFOs and the Loch Ness Monster. They were really interesting, actually, and he really knew how to tell stories.

As he left, "Hey Jenny, you all right." Nicest compliment ever.




Oh, and I think he gave us free HBO and Showtime, but I'd have to check my bill first >.<.

I suck at Spanish

Yesterday, our Spanish teacher passed out a sheet of paper with everyone's name on it. On that day, we were doing advertisements/commercials in Spanish on our chosen product (Coke, McDonald's...) And some people have already filled out "orange juice", "Cheese", "Plates." So naturally, I wrote down "shampoo."

Later on in the middle of the class, my teacher came up to me and said "Jenny, this is a list for the picnic we're going to have on Friday. Um, I don't think we need shampoo, can you bring napkins instead?"

My mother's day card says:

I actually remembered Mother's Day. This time. Don't get used to it.

Anyway, thank you for all that you have given me, including your genes. I hope you are having fun on your alumni website, and that your clinic will be very fortunate. I am so lucky to have a family like ours.

Jenny

Awkward? I think so. I think she'll like it.