Just finished reading The Alchemist on the airplane back from NYC. Now if only I knew what my Personal Legend is.

The book is about following your dreams (or fulfilling your Personal Legend), but a significant portion of the book deals with all the failures and "no's" and fears that built up so much in our lives. Because of those fears, we stash away that dream to the corners of our minds until we don't even know what we dream about anymore.

Now enough about Paulo Coehlo, let's talk about me. Mememememe.

Hey, my blog, my fucking rules.

While I was in the Museum of Natural History, I saw a whole bunch of art students in the animal diorama section (that's what you call them right? Dioramas?). And each one of them was intently drawing a herd of elephants. All in black and white. And for reasons I couldn't really explain, I felt happy that these were people who were following their dreams. Now, I know that's based on a lot of assumptions, but I have to believe that there are people out there who are being true to themselves. Mostly because I don't know if I'm being true to myself.

Am I really following my dreams? For that matter, do I know what my dreams are? I'm terrified that becoming a doctor won't be everything that I had imagined it to be, and that every day will be the same as the day before, and that the magic that I felt when I first started medical school will fizz out. I'm afraid that being a doctor will become "just be a job" when I'm old, and I'm afraid that maybe one day when I'm older, I'll realize that this wasn't my dream and that my heart was always somewhere else, but I didn't know it.


Also, I was rereading Volume 4 of Flight, and reading Kazu Kibuishi's "The Window Maker", and I'm struck by this quote (said by Mr. Emery, the window maker): "A long time ago, I had a realization, that no matter where I am, I will always be the same person. Being a teacher or a doctor wouldn't change much. Only my title. That I would want to teach or heal -- I think that's what's important. And I can do both those things right here in this building. With the windows. So I've been here more than fifty years and I still have more to do before I'm done with the place." And I feel that maybe that's true too, that it doesn't matter what my job is, but rather who I am, and what I do.

Anyways, go read The Alchemist. And while you're at it, check out boltcity.com too and look at Kazu Kibuishi's work (and Copper, too. That's the comic that's on my door, for anyone's who's been to my apartment).

Not emo, just pensive.