Um

Life is more or less back to normal, but I'm still a moron. And I'll be paying... quite literally. Oy.

man

I just want to graduate at this point. Skip the med school application process and just... end up in med school. magically. just like that.

HA!

So fucking tired.

Can't things work out just like... for once?

Okay done whining. Back to Lost, it's SOOOO ADDICTING! And naw, my life is great and fine, i'm just being a debbie downer.

Um

Life is more or less back to normal, but I'm still a moron. And I'll be paying... quite literally. Oy.

man

I just want to graduate at this point. Skip the med school application process and just... end up in med school. magically. just like that.

HA!

So fucking tired.

Can't things work out just like... for once?

Okay done whining. Back to Lost, it's SOOOO ADDICTING!

oy. Hasn't really been my year. Started with kinda a zing and ended with a bang. A bad bang. Oh well. Hopefully it gets better.

Hokay, so went clubbing/dancing /whatever last night with a bunch of folks at Lucre Lounge. T'was fun. :)

Done w/ finals. Went kinda blah. I kind of don't care. Well, we'll see, right?

Had an insecurity thingie again, so called mommy, and, yes, there's nothing like a phone call to mommy to make everything ok. Yes, i am a total loser. You know, my mom is probably one of the wisest people I kow... about SOME things. hehe, but yeah, she's awesome.

Everyone's been asking, so MCAT scores come out June 2. Eeeeeee

Going to some commencement ceremonies this weekend. Waaaaah why's everyone leaving?!

I'm determined to go through with acting and this whole improv thing. It's time I stop doing the same stuff all the time. I mean, if I suck, then I suck, but hopefully i'll have fun. I signed up for the workshop. SCARY!

Driving back home by myself on Sunday. Not a big deal, just a 7 hour drive. I remember the first few times were with my dad, then I drove down soph year with Theresa, and that was really good times. Spring when I went back home, I somehow finagled David to come up and help me move and drive back home. Then when I came back up to Cal again, it was with Alex. Then my car stayed here basically forEVAR, till now, when i'm driving it back, but doing it solo for once. But uh, one thing's for sure, I'm a really bad driver.

Ex: Driving back down with theresa, "hey, hey, Jenny, watch the road. You're VEERING OFF THE ROAD, WHAT THE HELL."
"I don't know, I think there's something wrong with your car."
Theresa, there was nothing wrong with your car, I was just lying to cover up my bad driving.

Driving back down with David: "OH MY GOD JENNY, what are you DOING? What are you...? OH my god, we almost died. Look, just get out at the next exit and let me drive, ok?"

Driving back with Alex: "No, you're not allowed to drive." and "David told me you're really a bad driver. So, uh, yeah."

So.... basically my friends drove me back and forth berk and PV. Because I can't drive. I'm an Asian GIRL, gimme a fucking break, i'm just living up to my stereotype of being good at school, submissive, and crappy driving.

Hopefully I'll make it back alive? :D
Seriously though, I'm actually looking forward to it. I really like driving alone. One of my favorite times when visiting friends or family is usually always the driving part. So yay, 7 hours of fun?

REALLY

I should be studying.

Anyway, nothing really.

Just some regrets really, but i'm actualy in a pretty good mood.

To list them off

1. not doing sports in high school
2. not doing anything really "new" or "scary" to me in college. I.E. not taking risks
3. acting like a total douchebag to certain people and hence burning bridges
4. not keeping my room clean
5. rejecting people before they reject me (cliched, i know, but I realize I do this a lot)
6. reading too much anoncon livejournal, going on facebook too much, going on AIM too much


Lame.com!!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully will change that. 3 can't really be fixed, but the other ones can. :)

EDIT: 1 can't be fixed either. Funny how I missed the total temporal distortion there.

---

OTHERWISE

Congrats to the seniors who'll be graduating this year! I'll miss you guys. But until then. PARTAY!!!!

So instead of writing my paper outline, or memorizing my 5 paper outlines for my class tomorrow (whatever p/np), I'm writing here. Procrastinator! You'll notice that I've been incessantly posting this week. Probably because it's finals ....eeeeeeeee

Whatever!

Funny thing about this blog; more people read it than I think. Because everytime I'm like "hey... so this one time..." someone's like "OH YEAH, I read it on your blog!" And I'm like "oooookay, wow I didn't know you cared/were THAT bored!" The best part is many many of my closest friends don't read it (some have almost religious beliefs against blogs/xangas/ljs.. these are mostly my home friends).

------had cheesy entry here, I deeeeeleeeeted it cause it was saaaaad ----

Arena (known to self and others) timid, insecure, withdrawn, overdramatic	Blind Spot (known only to others) vulgar, lethargic, cynical, distant, childish, chaotic, embarrassed, loud, panicky, rash, dispassionate, foolish
Façade (known only to self) glum, selfish	Unknown (known to nobody) incompetent, intolerant, inflexible, cowardly, violent, aloof, stupid, simple, irresponsible, hostile, unhappy, unhelpful, needy, unimaginative, inane, brash, cruel, ignorant, irrational, boastful, blasé, imperceptive, impatient, weak, vacuous, unethical, insensitive, self-satisfied, passive, smug, dull, predictable, callous, inattentive, unreliable, cold, humourless

Dominant Traits

66% of people think that JCZect is cynical

All Percentages

incompetent (0%) intolerant (0%) inflexible (0%) timid (33%) cowardly (0%) violent (0%) aloof (0%) glum (0%) stupid (0%) simple (0%) insecure (50%) irresponsible (0%) vulgar (16%) lethargic (16%) withdrawn (33%) hostile (0%) selfish (0%) unhappy (0%) unhelpful (0%) cynical (66%) needy (0%) unimaginative (0%) inane (0%) brash (0%) cruel (0%) ignorant (0%) irrational (0%) distant (16%) childish (33%) boastful (0%) blasé (0%) imperceptive (0%) chaotic (16%) impatient (0%)

Arena (known to self and others) accepting, intelligent, nervous, shy, silly	Blind Spot (known only to others) able, bold, caring, clever, complex, dependable, energetic, friendly, helpful, independent, ingenious, kind, mature, responsive, searching, self-conscious, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty
Façade (known only to self) reflective	Unknown (known to nobody) adaptable, brave, calm, cheerful, confident, dignified, extroverted, giving, happy, idealistic, introverted, knowledgeable, logical, loving, modest, observant, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, self-assertive, sensible, sentimental, spontaneous

Dominant Traits

81% of people agree that JCZect is intelligent
54% of people agree that JCZect is silly
54% of people think that JCZect is witty

All Percentages

able (9%) accepting (36%) adaptable (0%) bold (9%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (9%) cheerful (0%) clever (9%) complex (18%) confident (0%) dependable (9%) dignified (0%) energetic (9%) extroverted (0%) friendly (45%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (9%) idealistic (0%) independent (18%) ingenious (9%) intelligent (81%) introverted (0%) kind (18%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (0%) mature (9%) modest (0%) nervous (18%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (9%) searching (27%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (36%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (9%) silly (54%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (9%) tense (9%) trustworthy (9%) warm (27%) wise (9%) witty (54%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 13.5.2006, using data from 11 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view JCZect's full data.

Jenny is a puss day

so randomly ran into Theresa and Grace today, and they were like "Augusten Burroughs int he Castro! COME!" So I was like "ummm, i'm sick, i have to study, etc etc etc." but I actually went. Got on the bart. But then my stomach started acting up and my limbs stopped working, so uh, i came back. But SHIT, it's Augusten BURROUGHS. I LOVE the guy. I feel like such a douche, but then again, as I'm sitting here typing this, I actually can't really move my limbs other than my fingers, so going to the castro for the rest of the night probably would've been a bad idea as well.

I'm really bummed about it actually. My one chance to be spontaneous! :( Buuut I wasn't. I was lame.com, but i was also legitimately sick.

ee double-u

On my way back, i tried to get on the the 7, but it was leaving. A couple of high school kids behind me were like "SHIT! HEY!" and helped me try to get the bus' attention. When it didn't work they yelled "HIT THE BUS!" Um, I'm Jenny Chen. I don't hit anything (ok, buddies, I know what you're thinking, drop it), even buses. So I just stood there waving my arms frantically. "JESUS! JUST HIT IT!" the kids yelled again. So um, I tapped politely on the bus door. It opened. I got in looking sheepish.


That was way too much adventure for me in one day,
The end.

Wah, I'm lame.

Whining yay!

So.... remember how I typed "my stomach hurts" in the last entry?

it was kinda just a little nagging thing when I was going on with my stream of conciousness.

Turned out I got a 24 hour type flu thingie. So basically I missed class for the entirety of monday, oh yay. Aaaaand I'm missing class now too. Urgh........

gut wrenching pain!

Wooooooo

So I'm procrastinating by reading a really really sad blog written by someone I've never even met. By sad, I don't mean, little puppy got run over by a car sad. I mean, sad as in, "are you actually going to wear that?" sad.

My stomach hurts.

I'm working on my personal statement and it's coming out as CRAP.

...
More procrastination by drinking beer and eating Pops with Jojo.
...

Now onto more procrastination with an episode of 24! Oh gawd.

lalalaal procrastinating from writing my personal statement or studying for my fiiiiiinals.

So it's been a pretty fun week.

Thursday I went w/ Alex, Brenden and Amy to a Men's Octet show. They were soooo good as usual. I've seen everything they've performed, but I still liked it. If they perform Moulin Rouge or Bohemian Rhapsody again though, I'll cry (before I typed "cry" I had "shoot myself in the face" then "vomit", I finally decided to tone it down to "cry"). After that I had boba, then went to a bar lounge thing Mike and Brian, which was fun, but too bad there weren't too many people there. Still, it was nice to spend time with friends.

Friday Had lunch w/ Ethan, then went to the UCCE Choral show (I realllllly liked it. I think it was my fave choral show of them all, actually), then saw a modern dance (not jazz) thing with some people.


BLAH so blogger fucked up my entry. now I'm all bitter.

ARGH I'm a PIRATE

So today went and tutored the kids. I only have a few weeks left, but they're SO CUTE. I'll miss tutoring my little 1st graders. :(

Hospital was okay. Today was employee appreciation day or whatever, so everyone got a free hot dog. I finished mine in less than a minute. mmmmm....

It's funny, actually. one of my friends a few months back compared how I dealt with love/relationships/whatever to how I eat. I scarf everything down all too fast, just like how I move too fast with most (if not all) people I've dated. If you've seen me eat, you'll notice that I scarf everything down with big bites and swallows. I can't help it! It's good! Of course, then i finish before everyone else, and sit there glaring resentfully at everyone. Maybe it's just coincidence, but my friend joked that from now on whenever she goes on a date, she's gunna watch how they eat. "If they eat like you, I'm gunna stay away from them. They might be a sleazeball" She said with a grin. So I'm a sleazeball. *sheepish* Little Jenny CHEN, A SLEAZEBALL.

If you want to take this metaphor even further, I also overeat. Several people can testify to this. I see something good, I'll eat and I'll eat and I'll eat until it hurts. It's happened several times that I end up lying in the car/bed/ground moaning "URRRRGHHHH WHY DID I DO THAT?" Or sometimes I'll go "God I'm full.... are you gunna eat that?" I just see (good) food and I EAT. It's like my instinct. Don't know where THIS metaphor goes (and I'm usually good at making far-fetched comparisons).

From 1/6/06, it was here earlier, but then got deleted, and now it's back, apparently by popular demand. OOOOH. It's Jenny being a bitch. OOOOOH.


vI hate douchebags

So today was pretty good for the most part, except I got a little stressed in the afternoon, and then I hated everyone. But it was all good after I napped.

Note to people who don't know me from high school or roomed with me in college: You fuck with my naps, I'll eat your firstborn child, I swear to God.

Then me and Mel attempted to go to Green Temple, but they hate us and are closed until I leave. Boo. So we had Mexican food yay.

But here's where the fun starts. We went to Coffee Cartel with Mel's friend Aaron from Tufts . THe coffee place is this chic little independent beach city coffee shop where people can go and feel that they're cool, cause they're not buying from Starbucks-damn-the-man.

Then followed a poetry reading, which was like, oh this is pretty sweet. But then there was this chick wearing a trucker's hat who kept on trying to buddy buddy and be all cool with the old poetry people. She kept on saying stupid-ass things like "Oh, haha, Larry is as punk rock as I am." She kept on saying how punk rock she was, wearing her grandfather's trucker's hat.

Gosh, you're SOOOO punk rock. you're SO rebellious, hanging out at a rich people's coffee shop, drinking expensive independent coffee ($1.60 for a cup of green tea, wtf), with your independent friends, your independent trucker's hat, and your independent emo poetry.

And she kept on interrupting other readers' introductions with "OH, that's my friend. Haha he's so cool. Wow he's DOWN with poetry. That's so cool!" REALLY loudly so everyone can hear her. Okay, that's cool, you're down with the old dude and the angry white boy with dreadlocks, that's nice, do we really care? Must you announce it to the world? "I have friends, really! Look, I'm being loud and obnoxious and embarassing the hell out of them all!"

I guess I can't really convey how obnoxious she was, but she seriously had something to say every 5 minutes. And really loudly too, like, she wants everyone to know how cool she is. And she kept on going, "Oh, grandpa, my poetry's really really vulgar, so like, you know, watch out! I'm soooo edgy. I'm talking about sex in front of a bunch of 50 year olds (and yours truly), I'm soooo REBELLIOUS! I'm breaking ALL THE RULES" Note: Her grandpa was in the audience.

So finally came her turn to read. You know, most people introduce themselves with 2 or 3 sentences, she kept on rambling ON and ON and ON and ON. Not really anything interesting, but just about how "LA boys don't like me" and "I meet boys on the MUNI" and "Oh my father was NEVER there for me, and I brought his guitar here as a symbolic representation blah blah blah", "I keep on falling for artists, god my heart's soooo broken."

Honey, it's not LA boys don't like you. Boys don't like you. PEOPLE don't like you. Yeah yeah? Your heart's broken? POOR MOTHERFUCKER. Join the damn club. Wow, your rich father neglected you? Awww, well at least he's still paying for your tuition. You brat.

And you know what's the worst part? She goes to Cal. And she keeps on going on and on about it. She's a freshman at Berkeley, and how hip and down she is cause she goes to Cal. Wow, she's SUCH an individual. Honey, you and the 50,000 plus population at Berkeley. You ain't special, get over yourself.

So finally we get to her poetry. Which is basically bad slam poetry. Like, can anyone our age do anything OTHER than slam poetry? In slam poetry's defense, I actually like it, but there's waaaay too many angry rich kids who think that they can be the next Eminem or some bullshit by writing angsty slam poetry. There are a LOT of good slam poetry, though, but let's just say hers doesn't quite meet the par. This is basically what it is (I think some of it is verbatim, but this was about almost 6 hours ago):

You reached into my ribcage
and ripped out my HEART! HEAAAART!
with blood dripping out as my heart got torn
still beating from my chest
Why don't you care about me?

Ok, you guys see what I mean?

Then she was like "Oh, whatever, you can leave. You have legs, you can leave if you don't like my poetry. I don't care. Whatever. You're just offended. You're just a square." But (as Mel said) you know she's actually saying "please don't leave, I need your validation. I need you guys here to make me feel like people actually like me and care about me because I'm a BIG ATTENTION WHORE."

We left after 2 poems. It was getting a bit much. I guess I was offended by her total lack of talent.

Rewatching The 40-Year Old Virgin then having a midnight pancake run refreshed me, though.

I guess part of me hates her cause we are kinda alike with the whole whine-bitch-complain mode. I also do the "oooh look, I'm so cool by association with my awesome friends" thing, though I hope I don't do it to the extent that chick was pullin' (As in announcing it in a coffee shop filled with strangers with a scratchy prepubescent boy's voice). I'm glad I never took my bad poetry to the coffee shop, though.


Anyway, that's my silly little rant. Stupid Cal emo chicks (with trucker hats) who write bad slam poetry upset me. Just a little.

Well, I WAS going to study and then go to class, but I got distracted by my blog.

Except I really have nothing to say.

Oh, well, small MCAT party thingie on Saturday. Went well. Thanks to everyone who came.

Hmmmm....

I talk too loudly when I'm on the cell phone. But I'm not the only one guilty of that.

Uh, yeah.

That's all I got.

I'm still coughing. I've been coughing this entire semester. This is really really kind of worrisome for me. Not sure what's going on, but will see a doc after finals.

Need to write my personal statement. And suddenly realizing for all my blathering, I really have nothing meaningful to say.


YAY!