From 1/6/06, it was here earlier, but then got deleted, and now it's back, apparently by popular demand. OOOOH. It's Jenny being a bitch. OOOOOH.


vI hate douchebags

So today was pretty good for the most part, except I got a little stressed in the afternoon, and then I hated everyone. But it was all good after I napped.

Note to people who don't know me from high school or roomed with me in college: You fuck with my naps, I'll eat your firstborn child, I swear to God.

Then me and Mel attempted to go to Green Temple, but they hate us and are closed until I leave. Boo. So we had Mexican food yay.

But here's where the fun starts. We went to Coffee Cartel with Mel's friend Aaron from Tufts . THe coffee place is this chic little independent beach city coffee shop where people can go and feel that they're cool, cause they're not buying from Starbucks-damn-the-man.

Then followed a poetry reading, which was like, oh this is pretty sweet. But then there was this chick wearing a trucker's hat who kept on trying to buddy buddy and be all cool with the old poetry people. She kept on saying stupid-ass things like "Oh, haha, Larry is as punk rock as I am." She kept on saying how punk rock she was, wearing her grandfather's trucker's hat.

Gosh, you're SOOOO punk rock. you're SO rebellious, hanging out at a rich people's coffee shop, drinking expensive independent coffee ($1.60 for a cup of green tea, wtf), with your independent friends, your independent trucker's hat, and your independent emo poetry.

And she kept on interrupting other readers' introductions with "OH, that's my friend. Haha he's so cool. Wow he's DOWN with poetry. That's so cool!" REALLY loudly so everyone can hear her. Okay, that's cool, you're down with the old dude and the angry white boy with dreadlocks, that's nice, do we really care? Must you announce it to the world? "I have friends, really! Look, I'm being loud and obnoxious and embarassing the hell out of them all!"

I guess I can't really convey how obnoxious she was, but she seriously had something to say every 5 minutes. And really loudly too, like, she wants everyone to know how cool she is. And she kept on going, "Oh, grandpa, my poetry's really really vulgar, so like, you know, watch out! I'm soooo edgy. I'm talking about sex in front of a bunch of 50 year olds (and yours truly), I'm soooo REBELLIOUS! I'm breaking ALL THE RULES" Note: Her grandpa was in the audience.

So finally came her turn to read. You know, most people introduce themselves with 2 or 3 sentences, she kept on rambling ON and ON and ON and ON. Not really anything interesting, but just about how "LA boys don't like me" and "I meet boys on the MUNI" and "Oh my father was NEVER there for me, and I brought his guitar here as a symbolic representation blah blah blah", "I keep on falling for artists, god my heart's soooo broken."

Honey, it's not LA boys don't like you. Boys don't like you. PEOPLE don't like you. Yeah yeah? Your heart's broken? POOR MOTHERFUCKER. Join the damn club. Wow, your rich father neglected you? Awww, well at least he's still paying for your tuition. You brat.

And you know what's the worst part? She goes to Cal. And she keeps on going on and on about it. She's a freshman at Berkeley, and how hip and down she is cause she goes to Cal. Wow, she's SUCH an individual. Honey, you and the 50,000 plus population at Berkeley. You ain't special, get over yourself.

So finally we get to her poetry. Which is basically bad slam poetry. Like, can anyone our age do anything OTHER than slam poetry? In slam poetry's defense, I actually like it, but there's waaaay too many angry rich kids who think that they can be the next Eminem or some bullshit by writing angsty slam poetry. There are a LOT of good slam poetry, though, but let's just say hers doesn't quite meet the par. This is basically what it is (I think some of it is verbatim, but this was about almost 6 hours ago):

You reached into my ribcage
and ripped out my HEART! HEAAAART!
with blood dripping out as my heart got torn
still beating from my chest
Why don't you care about me?

Ok, you guys see what I mean?

Then she was like "Oh, whatever, you can leave. You have legs, you can leave if you don't like my poetry. I don't care. Whatever. You're just offended. You're just a square." But (as Mel said) you know she's actually saying "please don't leave, I need your validation. I need you guys here to make me feel like people actually like me and care about me because I'm a BIG ATTENTION WHORE."

We left after 2 poems. It was getting a bit much. I guess I was offended by her total lack of talent.

Rewatching The 40-Year Old Virgin then having a midnight pancake run refreshed me, though.

I guess part of me hates her cause we are kinda alike with the whole whine-bitch-complain mode. I also do the "oooh look, I'm so cool by association with my awesome friends" thing, though I hope I don't do it to the extent that chick was pullin' (As in announcing it in a coffee shop filled with strangers with a scratchy prepubescent boy's voice). I'm glad I never took my bad poetry to the coffee shop, though.


Anyway, that's my silly little rant. Stupid Cal emo chicks (with trucker hats) who write bad slam poetry upset me. Just a little.