I'm mildly emo right now. I'm not sure why.

Not emo as in sad, but emo as in like, apeshit crazy. I am emo enough to air guitar all over my room. Except that's not emo, that's just stupid. It's always nice to be delusional once in a while tho, which I do a lot. Delusions are kinda my thing. I pretended that I was in a punk rock band - it's probably because I can't get that goddamn "Sugar, we're goin down" song out of my head. It's playing on repeat, hmm apparently for the 51st time now (Itunes). Goddamn I suck.

You know what else sucks? My boobs. THey give me back problems. They're also excessive.

I'd make a good dude, I think. If it weren't for my tits.

cohesiveness is overrrated. Streeeam of consciousness.

I shall end with a quote:

"You know what the Amazons used to do? They used to cut off the right breast, so it'll be easier to reach. These are the types of people you're dealing with." - David

Ok, ummm so merry xmas and all winter holidays, etc etc. I prefer agnostic day, myself. So my xmas went pretty well. I spent it with Steve and Peggy and their dad, Mr. Chu. THey're off in Vegas right now. We saw lots of movies... including

Crash - GO SEE IT. OMG SO GOOD. It warms my ethnic studies heart.
Pretty Persuasion - fucked up but funny.
Be Cool - pretty funny.... the Rock can act! kinda...
National Treasure - fun fun fun
Born into Brothels - good but kinda disappointing.


SO our parents have decided. If me and Steve don't find anyone by the time we're 30, we're going to be life partners. It'll be pretty sweet. Yes, the lesbian thing does throw a wrench in the plan, but that's why we're life partners. Or something.

I saw Brokeback Mountain yesterday. I recommend you to see it. It's not really an edge-of-your-seat or OMG what happens next, but it is a very good story. I think you can relate even if you're straight. And not a cowboy.

My mom said the funniest most asian thing ever the other day. She wanted to say "brainwash" but instead she said "washed the brain."

Oh mommy.

Joey's cookie party

So I drove down to SD yesterday to visit Joey and her friends for her annual cookie party. It was really fun! I drove down in my mother's Honda Accord Hybrid, and lemme tell ya. It is one sweet car. There's GPS system, so I didn't die from getting lost and shot at. And it handles soooo smoothly. And... AND, I got to SD and back on less than half a tank of gas. In a 6 cylinder car. OH MY GOD, isn't that FUCKING beautiful. If everyone drove a hybrid, we wouldn't have a gas shortage. Stupid hummers.

tangent: What the hell are hybrid hummers? WHat's the damn point of the thing? It's like a car for A) poser environmentalists or B) people who like oxymorons

ANYway, it was a really pretty drive. And the sound system was pretty good, so I pretended to be cool (pronounced coo') and listened to rap. Then I realized that I was a preppy kid from the suburbs who is driving her mom's car, then I promptly felt like a psoer, so I listened to some punk rock instead. Yeah, it was the good kind of solitude. I ate chips and drank doctor pepper, I felt like a redneck somehow...

So I got there, and it was really really cool. I got acquainted with joey's room, we hung out and here are some highlights.
1. Eggnog with gin
2. CRAAAZY punch
3. good cookies
4. omg good mexican food that latoya drove us to. there's POTATOES in the burritos. GENIUS. Carbs plus more carbs = fat + FINE CUISINE
5. I met Joey's friends, half of whom I know already, but they were all really cool. Me and Cassie (i apologize dearly for spelling errors) made a child of dough. It's a hermaphrodite. ANd we're really openminded parents, so we let it keep its boobs and its testicles. And gave it plastic surgery. But I'm not paying for no child support.
6. Travis' brother looks exactly like him.
7. We went to a porn shop, and they had Debby does Dallas. There was also a playboy with my high school classmate in it. That was fun. We looked at dildos, and I slapped latoya in the face with a penis. But not a real penis. A plastic one.
8. We went into a another porn shop, and Joey got shocked with an electric fly swatter. She's still mad about that.

I drove back, and really had to pee when I got back. So I did. The end.

My friends from way back when (the Taiwan days, yo) are here to visit. We rented an assload of movies and are gunna overdose on them.

You know, I realized something someone has once said to me.

"When you don't feel the need to talk about something anymore, that's when you know it's ok for you to talk about it."

It's alright - everything is cool.

I'm still a loser though; don't get the wrong idea.

it's good to be home. :)

Running

So I went running, as says my goal.

When I started gasping for breath after removed because it's so embarassing i realized that I was ridiculously out of shape.
RIDICULOUSLY.

ever had that feeling, "what was I doing all this time?" yeah I got that feeling when a jolly old lady with gray permed hair skipped by me. "You old evil hussy!" I shouted after her "why must you mock me so?" Then I threw small Skittles (r) sized pebbles at her.

The aforementioned incident never occurred. There was no jolly old lady with gray permed hair. NorI do not have the audacity to scream "you old evil hussy", though, just for the record, I HAVE screamed "ATE YOUR PUSSY" in a crowd of Asian girls in the company of my roommate. Who is not Asian. They probably thought it was her, cause it couldn't have possibly been me. I'm too innocent looking with my glasses. (This happened Friday)

So my grandparents are here. It's a mixed blessing. I love them, but earlier today, my grandmother said "Is it me, or has Jenny gotten fat" then she promptly force fed me some cookies and tofu.



----
i've lost my faith in rap


When I heard the radio today, and on almost every station that plays rap. I hear "dum dum dum... shake that laffy taffy, girl, shake that laffy taffy," I knew that rap has died a horrible screaming death with bling and bad candy references.

Did someone go "Wow, tootsie roll made a good song. It's a great analogy for ass! i bet laffy taffy'll work just as well, it's made by the same company, and it's just as chewy. Like a fine woman's ass"

Since we're playing along, hereare some suggestions:

let me nibble on them reese's pieces
Cause there's no wrong way to eat a reese's, babe
i want to taste your rainbow, Skittles
Hit me with a home run, babe... ruth

that was horrible and demeaning to all of our intellects.
Gnight,

don't forget to shake your laffy taffy. I'm sure you have some in the leftover halloween bin.

Well, now that the logistics have been taken care of. I'm going to blog now. Yay.

Christmas/holiday/ask-richass-PV-parents-for-unreasonable-presents Day, I want:

to play/buy lots of PS2 games. That's it, really. Not excited about much else.

Other stuff to do:

Drink. Booze.

Run. Run Run Run. Everyday. BTW - I need a running buddy next semester. Lemme know.

Learn to cook. Oh my god, I need to learn to cook. Preferably tofu.

New clothes. Need bad ass clothing. I.E. clothing to make me look more bad ass, and hopefully add a foot to my stature.

Haircut. I have big hair right now. BIG hair. Hightlights, maybe? parents disapprove. (or maybe SPIKE it, damn).

Clubbing. I want to hit up a gay club and a straight club. Gay club because it's more fun, and straight club to humor my hetero friends.

Weights. I've gotten tragically punier this semester.

Probably not gunna happen, but going backpacking for a few days sounds fun. Again, lemme know if you're interested.

See Brokeback Mountain.

Grow a beard. For my role as Mrs. Claus in a new dark comedy featuring Bill Murray and a talented goldfish playing the role of Rudolph.

So. New blog.

As many of you may know, my old one was full of angst, but like a packrat, I can't really throw it away, and at the same time, I kind of don't want anyone to see it. here is a sample clip for anyone who's curious:

" I've been a complete slacker and a failure, and I don't care anymore." - May 16 2005.

Good lord, what a jackass. Someone get this person some black clothing, mascara and bad taste in music.

My friend once said "Us Jews, when we're in a shitty situation, we make jokes; it makes it better." I think it was Zac. And I'm paraphrasing. Probably badly, because he puts it more eloquently (more better, one might even say) than I do. I'm also not Jewish, but maybe I am by association? (Just like how all my friends are Asian by association, especially at Cal).

So that's it. When I suck. I'm going to make a joke out of it. When you think about it, life's a great big joke. And I don't mean that in a nihilistic, pretentious-ass sort of way. I mean that in a, damn, we are our own Comedy Central, kind of way. If that makes any sense.

And right now, at this very moment, someone is probably laughing at you. Yes, you.

Ok, so couple of things in order, please.

1. The title: waddle waddle waddle SHAME. This might change in the future, but for now, I like it. What does it MEAN?

I'll give you a hint: it involves lots and lots waddling, and even more shame. It was a dark part of my life, and much like my old blog, it was full of filth, lipids and hysteria.

2. The url: I fail at life. blogspot.com Well, you must be asking (or you might not care), "damn it all to hell, Jenny Chen. I thought you were going to chill out and not be all lame and... stuff. Aren't you supposed to not be writing bad self-pitying entries?"

To respond to that: It's satire. Webster.com says: 1 : a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn 2 : trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly

So it's mocking something. It's mocking me. Tada! I won't be writing self-pitying entries in this one. Doesn't mean I WON'T be pitying myself - it's one of my favorite past-times. I'll just do it in private (more or less) in my other blog.